Why Men and Women See Protection Completely Differently

🔥 Think protection in relationships is just physical? Think again. What if the real game-changers are emotional, spiritual, and even financial? Fam, it’s time to get real about the layers of protection you’re truly missing and why it could make or break your connections in 2026.

In this episode, we cut through the clichés and dive deep into what protection really looks like—beyond the surface. From safeguarding emotional boundaries and guarding your peace, to defending your honor in public, and fiercely protecting your truth—we’re unpacking it all. Whether you’re navigating love, friendship, or self-love, this convo is your wake-up call to craft defenses that actually serve you, not control you.

You’ll discover:

• Why emotional safety is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship
• The difference between protection and control—yeah, they’re not the same
• How to set boundaries that stick without feeling like you’re building walls
• The importance of honesty as the foundation for true protection
• Why protecting yourself means knowing what’s worth fighting for—and what’s not
• The subtle dual standards that distort what protection really means

Ask yourself:

• Are my boundaries protected, or am I just avoiding conflict?
• Do I feel safe enough to show my true self with those I trust?
• What’s the real reason I want protection—fear, love, control?
• How do I respond when someone breaches my boundaries?
• Am I protecting myself from everything or just the right things?
• How do I distinguish protection from enabling toxic behavior?

If you’re ready to stop playing defense and start building a fortress around your peace, this episode is perfect for you. Hit that 

Follow and Subscribe so you never miss a truth bomb that could change your life. And for even more authenticity, check out Linktree for resources and connections.

#Protection #HealthyBoundaries #EmotionalSafety #RelationshipGoals #SelfCare #AuthenticLiving #SelfProtection #MentalHealthAwareness #PersonalGrowth #TruthAndRespect

If you’re dating seriously (or want to be), this conversation will help you spot the difference between healthy protection and toxic behavior — fast.

Tap in, share this with somebody who needs it, and let’s define protection the right way.

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Transcript

UNC: 0:00

Welcome back to all in one, ladies and gentlemen. This is the podcast where we keep it real. We keep it authentic. It's been a long time.

Arya: 0:08

I shouldn't have left you, step to I know the words in between there.

UNC: 0:14

That right, that right. We're it's a brand new year. Welcome back into 2026. You know what I'm saying? So happy new year to you all. And we're going into the podcast this year. We're just gonna go ahead and talk about the things that's been on our minds. So one of the things has been, been in this dating pool. And as we're in this dating pool, we start to hear. certain conversations and these conversations tend to repeat themselves, regardless of how many people or how many different people you've spoken to. So today's topic is all about protection. What does it look like? How does it feel for men versus women? How do we find our common ground? Let's talk about it. We're gonna dive right into it. So let's get right into it. Arya, let's talk. What you got to talk to? From a woman's perspective, tell me what does protection look

Arya: 1:04

Okay, okay. So, know, jumping right into it, not really thinking about the protection that you think of at first, but yes, please be safe out there people. Outside of that, know, protection isn't really just like just that physical or sexual, it's emotional, it's mental, it's financial, professional, spiritual. those different things that we have to go through. For me, would say just starting off, if I had to pick one of those, the number one protection that I always crave is that emotional protection. I'm talking like emotional safety, knowing that like You're loyal. You're protecting my privacy, my boundaries, everything that is a part of me, my emotional sense of, vulnerability, because that's the main thing that you need people to actually protect you on. you don't want someone that's going to go out there and try to gaslight you, manipulate you into feeling like your emotional feelings are incorrect or wrong or, anything like that. I'm used to that, unfortunately, used to hearing, well, that doesn't make sense or you shouldn't feel that way or you're making that up when it's like, These are the feelings that I have and I'm coming to you about these feelings and you are not protecting me at all. In fact, you're making me feel like crap. you're not allowing me to be vulnerable with you. So you're not protecting me in that sense, which ends up making you not want to ever talk to that person again. And then when they start saying, oh, well, you never talk to me. I wonder why. I wonder why I never talk to you. Why should I talk to you? So that way you can belittle me again and tell me that my feelings are wrong and that I'm not validated in any type of way. No, like I need that emotional protection because for me, I'm the type of person, especially for a person like me who is very sensitive. And I can be emotional and I hold a lot of that in due to a lot of traumas that I've had. like, I'm looking for someone that is going to protect my, emotional feelings. Because if you can't do that, then I'm going to constantly shut down on you. I'm not going to open up to you. There's no point in me doing that. I'd rather just stick. stick to myself and, hold the feelings that I have inside, which that isn't healthy either, because then you start looking for your out. Like what is your out going to be? Is it your friends? Is it, you know, another family member? Is it another partner or potential partner? And that's one thing you definitely don't want, especially if you're in a relationship. You don't want your partner, spouse, wife, whatever you want to call them. You don't want them seeking emotional protection or any of those that I listed before in someone else. Because please believe if someone else gives that to your partner, to your spouse, your wife, your husband, that's just going to lead them into that relationship, into this new relationship. And then you're going to be out. That's how I feel about it.

UNC: 4:41

Okay, rather than so going back to what you know, saying some of the things that you said is amazing because I had actually jotted down a lot of the exact same points, key points when it came down to protection, the emotional, the financial and spiritual. One of the things you mentioned professional, which I did not have, and one of the things that I also had, but you did kind of you didn't say in the beginning, but you kind of keyed in on it was social, you know. protection in public, you know what saying? Because I've been in situations where I've seen couples at dinner or lunch or something and one party is going off on the other about the bill type stuff, you know what I'm saying? So it's like, protection looks different depending on what you've been through in the past. So where I may consider protection as from a male's perspective, you may not see as being something that needs to be protected. As a man, it is never okay to be belittled in public. the one thing that should always, regardless of whether or not we are together and we're out in public, we're always unified. Regardless of how we may be feeling, that internal conflict that we may have when we're in public, we're unified. There is no way that I would allow anyone to disrespect you. There's no way that I'm going to sit by idly and just allow physical, definitely not, verbal debatable you know, because everybody has a freedom of speech. And then it comes down to a point where there's a line of things that you just cannot cross that. OK, you say X, Y, Z. I found it to be disrespectful. I'm going to say something about it. That's me protecting you and your image, your honor, the whole, you know, saying the whole nine yards And then protection for us men. Most of us think that it's physical that we got to get to the action. You know what I'm saying? It's like now. It's not just about being tough. It's not just about being that alpha male. It's more so about being able to, like you said, Arya is being able to protect that woman emotionally. It's being able to ensure that she feels safe enough to open up to you to talk about things and to not use those things that she's told you in private against them. And that also goes for women as well. Because that's one of the main vulnerabilities that we as men have is that we will open up and we will tell you our deepest, darkest secrets. We will tell you those things that we are most vulnerable about. And then in a heated discussion, all of a sudden those things come back up.

Arya: 7:30

Oh man, that is such a pet peeve of mine. Like, how are you going to use my vulnerability against me when I told you that in confidence? That's another reason why it's like, absolutely not. would never, it's like, I would never tell you anything. I don't even trust you at this

UNC: 7:53

Exactly. Exactly. you know, and then you come to that point where you have to decide. So it's like, I'm not being protected because of this or I'm not being protected because of that. And then we say the one word, protection, but it has so many different, it has a plethora of meanings.

Arya: 8:10

Yeah, so many variables.

UNC: 8:13

So, and it's like, where do you have the conversation of, this is what protection looks like to me. And that way, as you get into that relationship, you're able to understand, okay, I understand what you're looking for for protection. And I can tell you right now, I can do this, this and that. You gonna get your 80-20 rule. I can't give you everything. Recently, I was just... conversating with someone and you know, they, they told me what protection looked like to them. I'm not judging. I just know that certain things that was on the list of things of what protection looks like to me fits in a different category. You know, I get the whole stand up for me. I get the whole don't have any second guessing where my place is. I mean, if I'm number one, treat me like number one. I shouldn't have to worry about whether or not you're involved with anyone else. My space is my space and that should be protected. I understand that whole heartedly I understand that most women want financial protection as well. And there's nothing wrong with that. I think there's levels to it when it comes down to it as well. And that, again, comes from my background. If I've been a giver in the past and I've been taken advantage of, I'm going to be more cautious of how I actually give going forward. Sometimes I may want you to earn that as opposed to me just giving it. I think you know there. one of the main thing that really got me, and it was the, Wow. It was that flag for me. You know what saying? It's like in her defense, she did say, I want my husband to jump in front of a bullet for me.

Arya: 10:02

You see my eyes.

UNC: 10:05

Right, right, right. You know, the awkward silence there and it's like, I'm sitting here, like, I'm just starting to talk to you. We like in day three, four of this conversation and these are the things that you're coming out with. And I'm like, yeah No you looking for Bruce Wayne, you want Batman. I'm not jumping in front of no damn bullets for nobody. You know what saying? Like I spent 24 years in the military. If a bullet was meant for me, I'm pretty sure I find my ass by now. Just saying. I'm not going to voluntarily go out here and jump in front of, why is people shooting at you? Why do you have people shooting at you? Why do I need to protect you from that? Because of my lifestyle, I don't have nobody shooting at me.

Arya: 10:41

At all.

UNC: 10:42

Something that I am willing to do at this particular point in time in my life. And you know when it came down to OK I did self-preservation. Call it what you want. mean, hell, even on an airplane, they tell you put on your own oxygen mask before trying to help someone else. You can't help nobody if you can't breathe. fuck, I'm going to jump in front of a bullet for that. That don't make sense to me. That don't pass a common sense test.

Arya: 11:05

stopping for a bullet. Like why aren't you running away? Like wouldn't you? I mean, I would think because if you think about it, your body automatically in anything that you do, your your body is automatically in self defense mode automatically. That is nothing that you can control. So with that being said, gun shooting, fire, my partner. Not at all. and you stop watching TV so much and these movies that fake we tell you what people would do in these scenarios because that is not at all what happens. People run, you scatter. Now I can say if you're trapped and there is nowhere to go, then maybe you probably would be like, oh my God, get me instead of my child, get me instead of my partner. You know what I'm saying? You don't have anywhere else to go. Right. But in most cases, you can run somewhere. So like, just grab my hand, you know, we both gonna have to run. If you slip and fall, I mean, you know that saying, you gotta be faster than the slowest person.

UNC: 12:16

uh I'm saying is it rose and plenty of room on that damn door. Jack could have got

Arya: 12:21

Don't even get me started because she knows she had room on that day plank I don't care.

UNC: 12:29

what does protection really look like? So like I said, it looks so different from different people. Mental space also needs to be protected because as much as you as my partner want to dump on me and let me know about all the things that you are going through, I also have to be in a mental capacity where I can receive that. And if I'm not there, And I understand that you want to talk at this very moment in time. But if I'm at a point where it's like, I can't bear no more weight at this particular point in time. How do we, who's protecting who, who's wrong in that situation? Because one is saying, hey, I need mental space. One is saying I need to, I need an emotional release right now. So where's the happy medium? I need mental space. Where do you find that space? Where's the protection between the two when it comes to a relationship?

Arya: 13:26

think it almost feels like those are certain circumstances that it really depends on the situation, you know, because like, I found myself like, I can see where I'm at and I know where I'm at and I know that I don't want to take on anything else that's going to affect me even more. But then I also find that like, I see that someone else needs a safe place and I kind of want to be that safe place because I don't know where the other safe place is going to be. So for me, it like really depends on the situation. I think if it's something like really detrimental, then I'll be like, I can hold space for you. But I think other than that, I would be like, is this something that we can like talk about later? Is it something that we can really like? because I am not in a space where I can talk about this right now. I feel like it's just like that open dialect. You really need to be open and vulnerable and be like, look, this is how I'm feeling. I understand you want to talk to me about a situation that you're going through, but is it really that important or is it really that bad that you need to talk about it right now? Just be honest about it. And that goes for any situation, friend, family, foe, whatever, you know, in a professional setting, it doesn't matter. Cause like, I mean, even in professional settings, like there are times where like people that you work with, maybe you're like really cool with or whatever. And then you see that they're going through something and they just really at that moment they're trying to work, but they really want to talk to somebody. And it's like, okay. Is this something that you really need to talk about right now? Are you really in that space? You because you just never know. You know, I mean, I've even dealing with a lot of the stuff that I've been dealing with for the past year. Like. I have students who are going through things and they always want to come to me and they always want to talk to me. And it's like. Sometimes I'm like, OK, like. Really, like is this, you know? Bad bad or is it like really something you need to talk like I had a student today and I was like I didn't really want to talk but I was like I Was like what's going on? like what's going on? What what's happening? Whatever and they're like, I was talking to this person, know over the break and now they broke up with me and I'm like We were on break for two weeks. Why are you crying? You know, I'm just like, I don't know. Sometimes I'm like that harsh. And I feel like sometimes people need that too. That tough love, you know I'm saying? Because sometimes when you give them that tough love, they're like, Yeah, that actually makes sense now that you said it in the way that you said it. You know, because our brains, they sometimes just it just goes crazy and starts putting all these images in. You know, you think about past things or you think about all these what ifs and scenarios and stuff that had nothing to do with what you're going through. And so reason is not there. Reason seems to like float away somewhere. So you need a person, a reason to actually like help navigate you, you know, in that in the way that you need to be navigated. So I think it just really depends on that situation. I agree, especially when it comes down to, man, the protection of feelings. Yeah, I can't, I'm honest. I'm too honest. That's my problem. Because if you ask me a question, I'm gonna tell you the truth. I've actually went through this with a very close friend of mine recently and man, he looked at me and was like, you're a dirty mother fucker. I'm like, nah, I'm supposed to tell you the truth. I'm not sugarcoating. I'm not telling you what you wanna hear and I'm not softening the blow you need to hear this And you know what saying? I Clarified what I was saying by adding an example to it. So it's all about being able to reach a person where they're at. And a lot of times it's just when it comes to protection, though, it's like, what are we really protecting? Who are we really protecting? And why are we you know what saying, going in that particular direction. Why do we feel like we have to handle certain things with, you know what saying, I don't know, you know what I'm saying, is this gently or are we, you know what I'm saying, with care or whatever the case, I would be wanting look at the white gloves that we used to put in the military. White gloves came out, you already know it was something special, right? But does everything and everyone deserve to be treated in that manner? When it comes down to protection, think that what we have is dual standards, know, double standards where we look at the exact same thing from different perspectives. And by doing so, you look at stuff like what's protection versus who's being too controlling, you know, because on one hand you want a leader You know saying that may be protection to you somebody who can actually guide and do this, do that, you know saying make sure this is done, make sure that is taken care of. But then at the same time, that leadership can look like control. You know, depending on your perspective, when you're standing at you're always trying to tell me what to do, but you wanted to lead it. You can't look for a leader, leaders lead. You know. and then not look for them to be telling people, directing people to go here, go there. So that's one thing. And then you also have what could be considered on the opposite side of that as feminine, you know, and then what could also be considered on one side, we're at it one way and then at the same time, we're looking at it as, but this person is really dependent, but we're looking at it You know saying like they don't need help doing X, Y, Z. They can take care of certain things on their own when it comes down to the woman. And then you have. You know, saying certain men that will look at it from a different perspective, like we're looking at it as you're just trying to control that man, whereas no, she's independent. She can do whatever she needs to depend on anyone or anything or any. Government program. to make things happen. She is doing her thing on her own. technically she doesn't need you, but she kind of wants you, but she don't really need you. You know what saying? But she wants you there. Certain things she needs you for, but you know, whatever. However you look at it, it all depends on your perspective. So we'll look at one thing as a person being strong and independent and give it a whole different title just because of the way that we were treated or someone was treated. in the past from someone who had those type of characteristics. So talk to me. mean, I know I said a lot for I'm wondering is it the same when the doors are closed though? She's telling me. Is it the same when the doors are closed? Are you protecting me when I'm not there? That same protection that you talking about you want or you need when we're together? Not everybody is going to be the same person behind closed doors or when you're not around. You know what I'm saying? That's another form of protection. It's like, oh, OK, well, when we're out in public, then together, oh, I'm this. I'm going to protect you. I'm going to provide for you. I'm going to be that person for you. But then behind closed doors, you treat me a different way. There's that, but then there's also everybody thinks this is going on or you're protecting me because we're together. But then as soon as I stay home, you're saying something else when I'm not there. You're putting bugs in people's ears that aren't true, or you're like, I don't care about whatever they're going through. I need protection all day, every day. Like, this is a terrible example, but it's a good example. My ex. uh had a conversation with some other people. And those other people started using the N word. My ex did not speak up or say anything about it, was quiet about it. Then comes to me and tell me about it. And I'm like, oh, well, what did you say? Well, I didn't say anything. I was just quiet. Now one could say, well, they're just protecting their own peace. They didn't want to start any drama. or anything like that. But on the other hand, how I look at it is, I'm your woman or you're my man. And I hear this going on. And I know that you're in that crowd of people. I'm gonna say something. I mean, that's just me. I'm gonna say something.

UNC: 22:11

Right. Why are you comfortable being in that crowd of people? That's my question. Why are you comfortable? I don't know.

Arya: 22:17

Exactly. So I'm just saying protecting your partner this life. That includes speaking up for them when they're not present. That also includes. what we do behind closed doors, you're protecting me too. Cause I don't, I don't need you blacking up my eyes and I got to put on makeup and everything to go outdoors to look like something. protection all the way around. you gotta also I guess it goes into like Protecting yourself.

UNC: 22:51

yeah, you should always protect number one.

Arya: 22:53

If you feel like this is not good for you, you feel like you're not being taken care of and the way that you feel like you need to be taken care of. If you feel like you're not being treated the way that you feel like you should be treated. That is not protecting yourself at all. Thank you. It was. What about friendships? I think that goes for friendships too. Talking about relationships, but that goes for friendships too. Cause I mean, you could be gossiping, sharing private conversations. People do that all the time. know, defending one friend, not the other. picking sides kind of situation. That's what I mean by that. Not defending meaning like you're choosing the person that's right. I'm just saying like, just if you care about one friend more than the other or like, oh yeah, I agree with you, blah, blah, blah. And then you go back to the other person. yeah, I agree with you, blah, blah, blah. know, like that's, that is not, that is not protection. You are hindering if anything. Because y'all can be in that drama.

UNC: 23:57

I mean, we guys for the most part, gonna be like, hey man, y'all didn't work this shit out. You know what saying? Like we gonna get you in the same space. Same car, y'all didn't work this shit out.

Arya: 24:06

That is me all day. Y'all not gonna put me in the middle. I always tell my friends, if anyone is even with anyone, you do not put me in the middle. Y'all hash that out on your own. When y'all both around me at the same time, guess what? We all friends, okay? We are all friendly up in here. You better fake it till you make it or both of y'all gonna be in the corner. See you. uh Valiar will be in a corner

UNC: 24:32

not in corner, that's funny. That's funny. So, friendships, boundaries, relationships, right? Man, okay, story time. Let's just get straight to it, right? So, I have friends, and then I have associates. The people I call friends with are ones that I feel like you call me any day, any time, doesn't matter, I got you. I got you, six. You need me, I'm there for you. So I've had friends that I've actually been there for, done things for the whole nine yards, right? That's me protecting my friend, doing what I'm supposed to do as a friend. You need advice, I got you the advice. You need, you know what I'm back and forth to the airport, things of that nature, whatever, in case it might be. You sharing, you even sharing, you know what I'm saying, the accounts that we don't do anymore, right? that we're not allowed to do anymore. We're doing all kinds of stuff. You know what saying? You go. You know what I'm saying? You're riding on me. You're my buddy. You're my friend. Fast forward to a point where you need and then it's, well, I can help you, but it's gonna cost you this. know, excuse me. So I do things as your friend out of the kindness of my heart, but if I need something, it costs me. Gotcha. So you're not really my friend. So I'm looking at friendships as far as where do you, I mean, you draw the line once you recognize that it's one side, right? Definitely draw the line at that particular point in time. But then it comes to this right here. What do you do when you know you've done nothing wrong in this friendship, but because you pulled back. that friend now starts to act funny. And then you stop dealing with them all together or you just don't respond. And then you hear, know how it goes, you'll need me before I need you type stuff. When in reality it's actually the other way around. You actually needed me a lot more than I've ever needed you type stuff. So when it comes down to the protection of friendships, in my opinion, You only protect the friendships that are worthy, the ones that actually give back to you equally as much as you give to them. And then if you find yourself in a friendship that you seem to be doing a lot more than that person is ever willing to do for you, let it go. It's not your friend. My line of front. We have an episode called Ignoring Red Flags that you might want to check out.

Arya: 27:01

Some friendships don't need protection. They need distance.

UNC: 27:04

Go that way.

Arya: 27:06

To the left, to the left.

UNC: 27:07

Yeah, so, you know, finding just being able to protect yourself first and foremost, understanding how it looks as friends. That's just my personal opinion because of my personal experience. Other people will have different experiences. Their opinion may be different. So, you know, some people may be that's my friend. I've been known for this long and, you know, they put a title to it. and not understanding that, you got to live up to the title. If you're not, you don't just get to have a title and then fall short of every requirement of the title. I mean, if you did that on your job, your resume said that you are a specialist at this and you failed every step. I don't think you have that job much longer. And if we look at friendships and other relationships in the exact same manner, hell, even marriage. To be a husband, there are certain qualifications that you must have and you must meet. There are also certain qualifications that you also must have and meet. You don't just get the title and not have to do everything underneath that title. And that's just two cents, I'm gone, landing the plane.

Arya: 28:16

I get that. So how do you protect your relationships friend or, or, you know, in a partnership or anything like that without enabling those bad behaviors?

UNC: 28:28

You draw strong and healthy boundaries. That is the solution. Somebody talks to you crazy, you're not talking to me like that. Just shut it off. That's protection of your personal peace in your space. You don't have to give them access. Just because somebody want to talk to you, mean you gotta talk to them. You don't have to. You have the option. If somebody pop up at your house, do you have to let them in?

Arya: 28:50

Right

UNC: 28:51

You know set boundaries. You know now, OK, you left me outside knocking. OK, you now know not to show your behind over at my house. Unexpected. Same thing with a relationship. Once you talk to me crazy, hey, look, we're not doing it. Second warning, we're not doing it. I, you know, saying I'm on this one on that second warning. The next time you raise your voice at me, you be talking to yourself. That's a boundary. I just told you we can talk. But you're not gonna talk to me like that. know, same thing with relationships. Don't put your hands, don't put your hands. Keep your hands to yourself, as men and women alike. There's no reason for you to be touching on nobody, you know what I'm saying? you You're not their parent. You don't get that. That's not your child. You may tell me to do something that you want me to do that don't necessarily mean I gotta do it. I do have options to say no. Set boundaries. Set strong and healthy boundaries and set and stick to them. Once you fold, you fold, if you take a step back, they're gonna take a step forward. You take an additional step back, well, they took another step forward. You just keep giving up ground. Stop giving up ground. Just stand your ground and let them know this is not cool. Stand on that and meet it, you know? How do you feel about it?

Arya: 30:03

Sure, I definitely 1000 % agree with boundaries, setting those boundaries. I mean, we've talked about that before, it's, it's, it's not just like, protection for yourself, it's also respect to yourself. It's knowing, you know, this, these are the things that I want in my life. These are the things that I'm going to accept in my life, because I respect myself enough to allow or not allow certain things to happen in my life. Knowing it's okay to walk away, knowing when to walk away, choosing peace over being right all the time. Like that's something huge I've had to learn over the past couple of years. And I realized that when I do take that road a lot of times, especially when they know that you're right. They don't like that. They don't like that you're like, OK, you know what? It's OK. I don't want to talk about it. I'm not going to argue with you about it. Whatever you believe, however you feel, you are 1,000 % entitled to that. No, they don't want to hear that. They want to hear the back and forth. They want to hear what you have to say. It's you saying I am secure within how I feel about this situation. I know without a shadow of a doubt that no matter what I say, this situation is not going to change. And that's you choosing your piece. That's you saying, you know what, being right doesn't even matter right now. My piece matters. Yeah, that's just saying like your piece matters more than anything. Also protecting your time, because I mean, who wants to waste so much time with a person back and forth? I mean, I've done it, so I'm guilty of it. But when you know better, you do better, you know? So, you know, protecting your time and energy instead of like wasting so much time on on an individual who's not even waste. like worth it, you know what I'm saying? Like it's just something that I've grown, you know, I've reflected on things, I've seen things, I've understood what was going on in my circumstances and I've just learned truly what I want. And so that goes for, like I said, friends, family, that goes for, you know, even strangers, like I found myself more than, than I have lately or than I have before. Like if people get mad at me, like someone, someone we were both merging over at the same time. Well, they got upset with me for merging, but my blinker was on and I was already merging. We just so happen to be merging at the same time. Like it happens, you know, But they got upset and then they were merging into the turning lane. And so they merged twice. We both merged together in one lane and then they merged again to get in the turning lane. And as they were driving by, they were flicking me off. I'm like, whatever. I was just saying, the old me would have been like, OK, you want to go?

UNC: 33:11

Not the way to go.

Arya: 33:12

Old me would have done that. But I was like, you know what, not even worth it. I was like, I know for a fact I didn't do anything wrong. I saw as we were both merging into the other line. First of all, I didn't even see their blinkers on. I mean, their car might not have come in that, you know, model. I mean, they probably didn't have blinkers in that model. I don't know. But anyway.

UNC: 33:34

(Was it a model T Ford?)

Arya: 33:36

I don't know what it was, but I know I had my turn signal on to merge to the left. And there were no cars when I looked twice. And then I started merging and you started merging. So I'm thinking like, you didn't know I was merging. I didn't know you was merging. But whatever, I digress. I let it go. They flicked me off, gave me the bird, told me to go fly away. So I was like, OK. I fly away little birdie. It just goes to saying like not everybody has access to you or deserves access to you. I'm going say that because who has access to you is who you give access to.

UNC: 34:17

That's right. That's right. All right, all right, all right. You got anything else you want to add to this segment?

Arya: 34:23

I was just saying. Protection is I don't believe protection isn't about control. I think protection is all about care. It's about you showing up showing out standing firm choosing me protecting me through everything and me just doing the same like I'm protecting you as well, but we also need to protect ourselves. We need to value ourselves more and value others more. I think we have totally lost so much value and especially in like the human and human nature is just everybody's so expendable. Unfortunately, it's kind of sad. But just I think knowing your worth, knowing who you are, what you want, what you desire, and keeping those boundaries, I think is truly the best way that you can protect yourself, protect yourself and protect others.

UNC: 35:17

The bottom line up front is protection. Once again, it's going to look different for everyone. it's going to be based upon your morals, your values, like you said. It's going to be based upon your experiences that you've had in the past. You may not know that you need protection for certain things because you never had to experience those certain things.

Arya: 35:42

That's so true. That's good. That's good.

UNC: 35:45

You know, the things that you haven't endured, you don't want to go through those anymore. So I definitely want to be protected from that. I also want to be protected from those unknown unknowns, you know. By the law, no friend don't have me out here looking stupid. You know, I don't start none I be none when it comes down to relationship, know. Friendships, be one hundred. Be your friend. Say what you mean. Mean what you say. You know, same thing with relationships. You know, I personally think that protection starts with truth. And a lot of time people like to tell white lies. Little small lies that add up over time. Protection starts with truth. If you're always honest and you're always truthful with each other, you're going to always protect each other. You respect each other in that matter. So I'm just.

Arya: 36:37

That honesty is the best policy.

UNC: 36:39

always. There's no reason to lie. There's no reason to lie. Just say what it is. You'd be amazed at how much you can get accomplished just by telling the truth.

Arya: 36:49

Not to mention, nine times out of ten, the truth gonna come out anyways. Why hold it back? Just be honest and upfront at the beginning. It's like, for me, I always say, it's ripping off the band-aid. Even if you feel like it's bad, you messed up, you made a mistake, whatever. Rip that band-aid off because The truth will come out. And when it does, do you want it to come out early on and deal with that fire? Or do you want it to be prolonged and deal with a bigger fire?

UNC: 37:20

You know what saying? It's that. And also, you've been lying to me this whole time. Say it to me right now. You've lost all credibility.

Arya: 37:28

Yeah, like what happened in between? Was that a lie too? Was that a lie too? Was that a lie? I'm starting to question everything at this point. Everything.

UNC: 37:37

I can either deal it or

Arya: 37:46

Over thinker here Yeah over thinker, yeah, please believe a thousand and one questions are gonna come up because of that I would be like what happened in 1990 though

UNC: 37:58

Yeah, I didn't even know you, man! Thank Oh man, but yes, you gotta protect yourself. Protect yourself starts with true. Start there. All right. that's been another episode of All in One. Hope you guys got something from it. Hope you guys drop your comments. Let us know how you feel. If we missed something, let us know so we can pick it up on the next one. Until next time, we're all in. We're all in one. Do do do do do do do Forty Five Forty Seven Oh my god. 00:00 Exploring Protection in Relationships 01:04 Emotional Safety and Vulnerability 05:06 Different Perspectives on Protection 08:10 Defining Protection in Relationships 08:38 Understanding Protection in Relationships 10:02 The Reality of Self-Preservation 11:31 Mental Space and Emotional Protection 13:19 Navigating Emotional Needs in Relationships 16:52 Honesty and Tough Love in Friendships 20:17 Protection Behind Closed Doors 22:49 Self-Protection and Boundaries 27:00 Evaluating Friendships and Mutual Support 28:28 Setting Boundaries for Healthy Relationships 34:16 Choosing Peace Over Conflict 34:24 The Essence of Care in Protection 35:16 The Importance of Truth in Protection 38:29 TheARYA & UNC - YT - HD 720p.mp4