Empathy, Sympathy, Apathy, & Emotional Boundaries

The Hidden Power of Empathy

🔥 Feeling overwhelmed by everyone’s pain and not sure how to help — or even how to feel? Fam, you're not alone. In this no-nonsense episode, we rip the bandaid off the complex emotions of empathy, sympathy, and apathy—breaking down what they really mean, why it matters, and how to protect your peace while still showing up authentic.

From the deep talents of empaths feeling everything to the tough love of embracing apathy just enough to survive, this conversation is your high-energy guide to navigating emotional boundaries. Whether you're someone who feelings too much or not enough, you'll learn the crucial difference between compassion and burnout, plus practical tips to maintain your mental and emotional balance without losing your humanity.

You’ll discover:

• The real difference between empathy, sympathy, and apathy—and why understanding each saves your soul
• How over-empathizing can drain you—and the exact signs to watch for
• Practical ways to release emotional tension without turning into a ticking time bomb
• When and how to set boundaries that keep you sane and still caring
• The truth about “tough love” and why sometimes silence is the strongest support
• Resources to help others without giving yourself away

Reflect:

• Are you an emotional sponge, or do you know when to squeeze and let go?
• How do you balance caring deeply without losing yourself in others’ pain?
• Have you ever felt overwhelmed by someone else’s bad energy? What did you do?
• Are you holding onto guilt or frustration from past interactions? How can you release it?
• When was the last time you asked yourself: What do I really need right now?

Ready to stand in your truth while helping others? Hit that FOLLOW button and subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube — because your emotional intelligence deserves a upgrade. Want everything in one place? Check out Linktree for all links and resources. Don’t just listen — elevate your vibe now!

#empathy, sympathy,apathy,emotionalboundaries,mentalhealth,selfcare,authenticity,relationshipadvice,personaldevelopment,mentalwellness,spiritualgrowth,empowerment

Transcript

speaker-0 (00:00)
Welcome back to All In One, ladies and gentlemen. This is the podcast where we keep it real, we keep it authentic. Today's topic, we're talking about empathy, sympathy, and apathy. How does it fit? How do we apply it in our relationships, our day-to-day lives, our work situations, though, and our yards? Sometimes, you know what I'm saying, it depends on how you wanna look at it. You know what I'm saying? We look at it as we give, sometimes that...

bad connotation to it. It's that emotional roller coaster sometimes, you know, but it's all about how you respond to someone when they're going through some things, So are we showing empathy? Are we showing sympathy? Are we showing apathy? And what's the differences between the three? So Ms. Arya, you want to lead this one? You want us to come in and talk to us? Let's go into empathy real quick.

Sammy, what's your?

speaker-1 (00:49)
So I really want to go into empathy first of all because I consider myself an empath and I think empathy is kind of like my realm. I know I am usually that type of person that like I I'm always like I feel personal. I can feel your energy. I can feel what you're going through. I may not exactly know

Like what you're going through, but like I can feel the energy that you're putting out there. So this can be like good energy. This can be like bad energy or a little bit of mixed or, you know, in between. I would say like I am usually one that like feels for others, you know, even like strangers. I can go and run into strangers, you know.

And then like I can feel like if they're having a bad day or if they're having a good day, I like feel that. I think what kind of trips me up when it comes to empathy is I think sometimes I over empathize. And I think that there is a such thing as over empathizing with people, you know, because what happens with that is now you're bringing on that same energy to yourself.

And that can actually be a bad thing. It's like, OK, yeah, if you're happy, it's like, OK, of course, that's a good thing. You're happy. They're happy. Now everybody's happy. But then the reverse side of that is if you have someone that's like miserable, now you're miserable. For what reason? This has nothing to do with you. Like, this isn't a part of you shouldn't feel miserable because another person is miserable, you know. So for me, like

Empathy is just like that really strong feeling that I know personally I have been trying to work on not being like as empathizing as I have been. It is definitely something I feel like you have to grow out of, I guess. I don't know if I want to say grow out of, is that like the right word to say? But at least being

less empathizing for people and moving into that category of just, you know, sympathizing with people when it's like appropriate, you know.

speaker-0 (03:10)
Right. I mean, some of you can't really help it. You know what saying? If you're empathic, then it's something that's innate to you. It's something that you were born with. It's not something that you really developed over time. It's like you literally feel energy around you. You can feel the shift in the weather before other people actually feel it. You can feel energy and tension in a room. Like you just walk into a room and

It's like, okay, what's going on? What just happened? You know, it's like nobody said anything. You can just feel it the moment that you walked in. And it's like, people look at you as weird because you can do that sometimes. You know what I'm saying? It's like, it's not something that you can control. It is just what it is. You know, it's like, almost like you can feel a person's thoughts. You can definitely feel everything that they're going through.

especially if it's a heartbreaking moment. I remember just being at a restaurant one day and I'm looking through the window and I see this group of people. They're just one by one. They'll come together and then it's hugs and it's tears. And it's like, you already know what it is. The more that came in, I just happened to walk outside and walk past them.

And without even knowing what was going on, I was like, I'm sorry for your loss. And one of them looked at me and said, like, how did you know what thank you? You know, it's like you don't.

It's not something that you can actually control. The thing about it is that you can't try to take on everybody else's energy though, because you literally feel what they feel. And so when somebody tells you, hey, look, I need my space, need, you know what saying? I need, I just need to cleanse my energy at this moment in time. They're doing that for a reason, because it's draining as well, you know?

speaker-1 (04:49)
Mm-hmm.

speaker-0 (04:50)
So carrying other people's energy around. you have to be, if you are that person, that archetype, you will, you understand. And if you don't, then what we're hoping for that you can actually listen to what we're saying here and just be able to understand what it is that we're saying and how it affects those of us who actually feel other people's energy.

speaker-1 (05:13)
Right, Yeah, and in this, honestly, for certain people, I think it can be like very uncomfortable to hold on to some feelings that you know is not even your feelings, you know? Because it's like, you don't want to be that person that is not able to be the open door policy, you know?

And when you have people that just like know that this is how you are, and you know that you'll always be there to like listen to them and hear their problems and everything that they're going through. And then you're sitting there like, oh my gosh, this is a lot. This is a lot. Now, how do I process these feelings? Because now I'm just like, this is uncomfortable conversation. This is like very traumatic conversation.

This is a hard conversation, but yeah, I'm like, wow, now I know I'm going to have to deal with this. Perfect example, I just spoke to a girlfriend and she had a very tragic, tragic situation that happened in her family. And she's telling me the details of what happened.

And I was mind blown. I was just like, wow. And it was like one story after another, after another, after another, after another. And I'm just like, hold, hold up. Like, wait a minute. And I'm listening and I'm just like, this is crazy. This is absolutely insane. How can one person have all of these things happen to them in a short amount of time, so quickly?

And now I'm in my head, not only listening to what they're saying, but now I'm feeling all these feelings that they're just, you know, telling me. They're just sharing to me a story, but I can only imagine what they were going through at that point. And now I'm feeling all these feelings of like terror and like horror and like, you know, ⁓ sadness and like feeling these

this feeling of abandonment and I was like, I'm not even the one abandoned. I'm not even the one that is in this situation. My family member didn't even do this. My ex didn't even do this. I didn't even go through any of this stuff. Like someone else did, but I'm now feeling all of this. And it's like, now I'm uncomfortable, but at the same time, I'm just like, I don't want to be the person that be like, you can't talk to

You know, and it's hard for people who are empaths because it's like you do want to be there to help, but you don't also want to be like, you know, well, I'm to turn my own story, turn your story into my own story, or I'm going to like bad mouth you or I'm going to be like, well, at least, know, there's this, this, that and third, you know, make them feel bad, you know, about what's going on. So since there's that

edge to it where they know that you're not going to make them feel a certain way about whatever they're telling you. That just makes them want to tell you even more. So now it's like, the layers are starting to add up. I'm going to start feeling all these other feelings that I've been feeling this hurtness and sadness, this abandonment, this, you know, miserable life. I'm feeling all of these emotions. And the bad side to that is like what people don't realize is if someone else is already

Holding these feelings or already holding Depression or already holding, you know being sad and unhappy Angry and all this stuff. They're now holding that But now they're also holding your stuff too. You know and put that in there too in that pot so now I got a big pot of all these people's problems and There is like I don't know. There's just something

I don't know the word I'm looking for, but there's just something to say about the individual carrying all this extra weight of problems that people don't realize is like not, it's not healthy. you know, in a lot of times people don't associate like traumas or pain or, you know, discomfort, sadness, all these things. don't, they don't.

see like, this can give you migraines, this can give you heart failure, this can give you your body to shut down, this can cause you to get sick, it can drop your immune system, it can, I don't know, cause cancers, know, because if you think about even how cancers work, it's your body basically betraying itself because of an immune breakdown.

Somewhere in your system, there's an immune breakdown of a cell that decides it's gonna trip up and once that cell trips up It starts doubling up really fast and that's how cancer comes when it's a trip up and it doubles really fast then cancer comes and it's like people don't associate like your emotions your feelings and stuff like that to sicknesses It's like no, you got to think about those things. You have to be aware of those things. So it's like Empathy is just one of those things that

Like you said, it's just you're born with it, you know? And you have to, I think, learn. It's learning how to manage being empathetic with.

speaker-0 (10:19)
Right, right, right, right. It's funny that you say that. And it's like most people, like if they do have, you know what saying? Call it what you want, the gift. Then a lot of times they don't even realize it. So ask yourself this one particular question. Do random people just...

come up to you and just start telling you all of their business for no apparent reason. It's not like you asked them anything. You were just kind of sitting there minding your business and then all of a sudden somebody just came up and just start talking.

There's a reason for that. You have a light. It's a beacon. And it calls them straight to you every time. It's like, I swear random people on the street just come up and just start talking to me, just start giving me whatever they're going through, asking random questions as if I'm displaying a sign on my forehead or something. They're like, hey.

Five cents, know what saying? Like Lucy back in the day on the peanuts or whatever, right? Charlie Brown type stuff. But it's like, I don't know, but you feel it. You understand it. If you feel the shift in the weather, you definitely feel the shift in the weather. You know how we say, ⁓ it's about to rain my knee here.

speaker-1 (11:18)
Right.

My knee hurt.

speaker-0 (11:30)
Yeah, yeah. That was you, my guy. That's feelings. That's how you actually, you go through these things. You understand that you have that gift. And then it comes to this right here. When everybody does come to you and they start dumping everything onto you, just telling you everything. And now you're building up, like you said, these, you know what saying? This tension within yourself. How do you transmute it?

How do you release it? How do you let it go? know, cause it's a whole different, I know we weren't really going on this particular, this direction, but it's like, you can't help but talk about it. It's a natural pivot. So once you start to build this tension in your body, first and foremost, if you don't know already, I'm one of those guys that know a whole lot of pressure points, things of that nature, right? So if you feel in the back of your neck and it's,

hard like a muscle, that's all tension. If it goes back behind your ear, all tension. That is all soft tissue. It shouldn't be anything hard there at all. So spend some time with yourself massaging that out. Same with your temples. All of that is soft temple tissue. It should not be hard. It should not feel like a muscle. It should not feel like a knot If you're feeling that tension, massage yourself or get yourself a massage. Tertiary med will help, especially on the neck, on the lower neck.

and behind the ears, help to relieve those migraines things of that nature. You get that tension out of your head and always push down and away from the brain, just so you know, move the blood away from. So, quick little Intermission about how to get rid of some of that tension that you do carry. But getting back to is like when those people come to you and they dump on you, they tell you, I hate to keep saying it that way. And they just release.

whatever they're going through. Let's do it that way because everybody has a point, that breaking point, that point. And we have to talk. We have to say something, me, I write. So it depends on how you get it out. It's like, what do you do? Are you just carrying us around with yourself? And next thing you you're blowing up and snapping off on everyone or are you getting rid of some way somehow? What's your release for it?

And there are several different things that can do whatever your outlet is. Some people work out to get rid of the tension and the stress. Some people go for runs, you know what saying? Some people write, some people draw, some people paint. It depends on what your release is, what makes you happy. Find that. Do more of it to relieve that stress. Especially when you're carrying other people's burdens. So just find that release, that whatever works for you. That's pretty much all I got on.

speaker-1 (13:57)
Good good good stuff good stuff. So what do you do? when you Release all of this and you know and you start to learn how to be now Sympathetic instead of empathetic because if you're being Empathetic is based on like your feelings, right? But if you're being sympathetic, it's like, okay, you kind of actually do

understand a little bit because maybe you've been through that situation, you know? And it's like, I feel like being sympathetic is nine times out of 10 more manageable than it is to be more empathetic. How do you feel about that?

speaker-0 (14:36)
Sympathy, you know people people say I'm sorry

speaker-1 (14:40)
It's really

speaker-0 (14:40)
You know, so I mean, in a sense, that's what sympathy is, is saying that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sorry for whatever it is that you went through. I didn't necessarily carry that same emotion with me. was like, and you know, sometimes people do it. It's just like, I'm sorry. And then change the subject on you real quick because it's like, I don't want to talk about it. You know, so it's like you have that I'm sorry. And then you have those people who actually are sorry.

And then, because that's where we really want to go with this, with the sympathy piece. I'm sorry for what you're going through. It's like I can not, I feel your pain, but I'm not carrying your pain. That's the best way I can say that.

speaker-1 (15:18)
That is the best way to deal with it. That's literally the best way to deal with it. I feel for you, but I don't have to hold on to this, you know, this pain because you're going through some things. I'm sorry this happened to you. You know, it's like. It's like almost like that. I hate to say it that way, but it's like.

when you when people be like online or whatever and they're like, oh, you know, so and so passed away, my aunt passed away, my parents passed away, blah, blah, it's like, oh, dang, I feel sorry for that. Thoughts and prayers.

speaker-0 (15:56)
Right, right, right.

speaker-1 (15:58)
praying for you. I wonder how many of those messages are people actually doing it. Literally, I'm praying for you. It's like, it's a way to show sympathy. And I'm praying for you. like, where are you? Where are you?

speaker-0 (16:11)
You really send that prayer up for me because I needed it. really need

speaker-1 (16:14)
I

don't know if you see it or not, you know, it's so funny because like when I usually when I say it I'll just say I'm praying for you and I send a quick prayer in my message, know something short and sweet or whatever But I do know like sometimes if I if I don't say anything at that moment or if I don't pray in that moment

Nine times out of did not pray. So I'm just being honest, you know? And so I'm just like, that's why I'm like, I want to be supportive in certain situations, especially when I know that I have gone through it. You know, I don't need it to be all, you know, awkward or anything like that. I don't want our whatever I'm feeling for someone to be just like.

dismissive or anything. Like I want you to know like this is how I think that this should go, how I feel for you. Now sometimes I find myself like I would say mixing the two in a sense of sympathy and empathy is like I empathize with you and I feel for you and I think that it's so sad but then I'm also like you know I truly am actually sorry like that you are going through this I felt this before I've been through that before.

and I can give my, like my insights on, you know, your situation based off of, you know, my experience. Now, what I will say is that even if you empathize with someone or sympathize with someone, that does not necessarily give you the right to, what's the word, like,

I can't think of the word I'm looking for where basically you go into the conversation and you enforce your own feelings and your own stories. And it's like. Because sometimes people don't want it. People don't want your own unsolicited advice. That's what it is. That's the word I was looking for. Your unsolicited stories, your unsolicited advice. Who asked you?

speaker-0 (18:15)
Right, right. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. And I know where you're going with that. Because I was thinking the same thing. Because I was like, okay, when you offer advice, when you're being sympathetic to somebody, Do not, absolutely do not turn that story into you. Well, I did this. You know, we're not talking about.

speaker-1 (18:33)
This worked out for me. I mean, well, you can do what I did.

speaker-0 (18:38)
You know what I'm saying? It's like, can I have my moment? You know, it's like, sometimes you can't even get that. And it's like, this person is going through something, focus on them. It's not about you, it's your story. You know what saying? Like, I remember I was talking to a friend of mine a few years back and her daughter was going through some things and it was rah rah rah off the top.

And I'm like, that's not what she needed at this moment. Right now, she just needs a shoulder to cry on. It's like she's going through some things right now. She just wants somebody to listen, you know what saying? Not tell her what she needs to be doing or what she should have done. Just shut up and listen, you know what I'm saying? Let her cry on the shoulder, you know what saying? Let her just get it out. Let her purge.

speaker-1 (19:12)
You know?

Shit

speaker-0 (19:30)
And that's the thing about being sympathetic is just to be able to allow a person to release whatever it is that they're going through without you being able to having to carry that yourself. Just let them get it out. It's like, let it out because sometimes people just need to they just need somebody to listen to.

speaker-1 (19:47)
In house.

speaker-0 (19:48)
Like I'm not asking you for solution. I just need to get it out. you have to allow that to happen.

speaker-1 (19:53)
Bye.

Yeah, that's true. It's like you want to be there for a person, but you have to allow them to decide when they need that voice of reason or that person to say, know, like, ⁓ everything's going to be okay or whatever. You know, because I mean, I look back at when my dad passed away and I was so sick.

and tired of hearing people saying the same thing over and over. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sorry that your dad passed away. ⁓ your dad was a good man. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Like, do I care about your sorries right now? I really don't. So the best thing that you could do for me in that moment would have been to just be like,

If you need me, I'm here. If you want an ear, I'm here. Make it simple. Make it sweet. Don't try to like go into these long gated and people like think that, ⁓ well, this makes them feel at ease. No, doesn't. It absolutely doesn't. It makes things worse. It makes things so much worse because.

The issue is you know what you're feeling. You know what you're going through, you know, and you understand that this is a sad situation that you're going through it or miserable or whatever you're feeling. You already know that. So someone coming to you and saying that is like, all you're doing is feeding me that I know I'm going through something. You're feeding me knowing that I'm sad about something. You're feeding it more to me. And it's almost like

It's like feeding a dog and expecting the dog not to eat. You keep giving it food and giving it food and giving it food and it's going to keep eating it. I'm feeding and feeding and eating and eating and eating all of your I'm sorry's all of your ⁓ you know you got to give it time. pray about it. ⁓ I don't care about none of that right now. Like I care literally about none of it.

So you are not helping me at all. Like leave, at this point, I'm just like, leave me the fuck alone.

speaker-0 (22:04)
Right, right. And you know.

I get it. we're at a loss for words, just like I was just there, right? You don't know what to say. so if you don't have the right words, then it comes across as, just need to say something. And sometimes the best thing is not to even say anything, other than give that little hug.

speaker-1 (22:26)
Mhm.

speaker-0 (22:27)
You still got my number, right? Okay, call, text me if you need me. I'm here. You know, and it's just that simple. ⁓

speaker-1 (22:34)
It really is.

Yeah, I sometimes people make it bigger, definitely make it bigger than what it's supposed to be. And it's the, it's that, it's that human nature. I don't even know if it's human nature or more of what we are taught. You know what I'm saying? Cause you grow up and you see it and you hear it. It's almost like, oh, I'm taught to do this. So I know I do it. I don't ask any questions about why I do it. I just do it. It's like.

when certain things that we do growing up in school that we know nothing about, like kids in school, they grow up saying the pledge of allegiance and they have no clue what it means. Kids grow up saying, ⁓ some kids might grow up wearing dresses every day. Some women might grow up wearing dresses every day, never wear pants. Don't ask questions about why they don't wear pants. They have no clue. They just know that they wear dresses. Like, you know, people don't...

ask the questions, they just like allow people to input on them. They do this thing, they don't question it, and then they grow up doing it. And what happens is it's a cycle now. So you grew up doing this, so now you're going to push this on somebody else, and you're going to push it on to somebody else. No one's actually really taught how to be sympathetic, and I feel like you could totally take a course on being sympathetic.

You probably can't take a course on being empathetic, but you can definitely take a course on being sympathetic because there's, I think, unwritten rules or laws that you should abide by when it comes to other people. And it's probably good to be in tune with yourself and be more empathetic so that way you know when to apply sympathy. Because I feel like I'm better at

knowing when to apply sympathy because I am empathetic. You know, like I can feel your energy and I can tell you don't want to be bothered. So I'm not going to bother you. I'm going to quickly interject and say, hey, I just wanted you to I just wanted to let you know that I'm here for you.

And that's it.

Short, sweet, but a tickle in their mind, you know, to let them know like, okay, I actually have somebody just in case I do need to call somebody or I do need to reach out to somebody. Because those people, not for anything, you know, my Christian family and friends and all that stuff like that, but the ones that were contacting me talking about pray about it, I ain't talked to none of them. None of them.

Because I'm like, there is no praying for this situation right now. Like, that's not what I want. That's not what I'm feeling. So if I'm not feeling it and if I'm not there, you can't impose that on me, you know? And some people, I've, my goodness, like a girlfriend of mine recently lost her husband and she ended up going to Facebook and she flipped.

because there were so many people reaching out to her. you gotta give it to God. You need to pray about it. you know, it's like, I just lost my husband, my best friend, my everything, the person that I thought I was gonna be with forever. And every single one of you right now are just telling me, go pray about it.

Like, no. You guys need to learn a course of sympathy because this is not it. This is not it at all. You can say that in your own on a back burner or whatever. You can be like, my God, I feel for this person. I'm going to pray for this person. If that's your prerogative, then go ahead for it. But you don't have to go to that person and do that because you never know what a person is actually feeling in that moment. And sometimes, a lot of times,

people, especially if even if they are like religious or Christian or whatever, sometimes in hurt, you're like, you know, you're mad. You're just mad at everything. You know, you can be mad at your job. You can be mad at a car. You can be mad at a house. can look. Certain things might make you mad.

You know, like she was saying she, she had to fix something on her car and then that made her mad because she wouldn't have had to do that if her husband was there. And now she's mad at the car, you know, for breaking down. So it's like you have to allow people to deal with their feelings in the way that they need to deal with it. And you just understand that I'm going to be there for that person, but I'm going to be there for that person in the way that they

want me to be there for them.

speaker-0 (26:51)
Absolutely. Absolutely. And you know, I get where you're going to an extent, you know.

People do throw the Bible at us all the time. And one of the things that I gathered from what you were saying was that, I forget the verse, but there's no need to pray for the dead. God's decision is final, right? So they're no longer with us. So we have to learn to cope and move on. But also you have like Matthew 5, 4.

blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted. So with that being said, we understand that it's okay to be mad. It's okay to be mad. It's a feeling, we all have feelings.

speaker-1 (27:31)
Even Jesus had feelings. Why have you forsaken me? You think that's not a feeling?

speaker-0 (27:37)
Exactly,

exactly. But under no circumstances are we saying that, you know, saying that anyone's turning away from God or anything of that nature. What we are saying is that we understand that at some time, some points in your moments, you question. It is okay to question.

speaker-1 (27:45)
Right, right.

And you so

speaker-0 (27:56)
why did this happen? Why would you take this person from me? You know what I'm saying? And it's like, we have to understand that it is the cycle of life, that circle of life that we go through, you know, from asses to asses, dust to dust, right? From which we came. It's...

We go through these things and we understand that you can't carry somebody else's pain. can't carry the emotions. You can feel sorry for them. You can sympathize with them and you can give them an opportunity to release. You know what saying? What they're going through and you can offer advice when it is warranted. Not unsolicited as.

or he initially stated, you So what we really wanna do is, you know what saying? You go through these range of emotions, you know what saying? So we've gone from empathy to sympathy and now we appear at this, man, fuck your feelings, man, fuck them kids. Apathy you know what I'm saying? It's like what really happens when you truly don't care at all about anything that anybody is going through.

Not my problem, not my monkey, not my circus. Let's talk about it.

How does, how does apathy look to you?

speaker-1 (29:08)
So apathy. Yeah, like we were saying earlier, fuck your feelings. Okay, we don't care at all. No emotional attachment. I don't feel any any different good or bad about how you're feeling. I feel like. Remember.

Remember when I was telling you about the whole Simpson's thumbs up?

speaker-0 (29:30)
I do.

speaker-1 (29:30)
for me is the Simpsons thumbs up. You know, the Simpsons thumbs up. The Simpsons is OK. The Simpsons is like, you know what? I'm not bothered today. I'm not dealing with this today. you know, honestly, I feel like it's OK to, you know, feel apathy. Like, it's OK sometimes because it is emotionally draining to be empathic, to empathize.

It can be taxing on another person to sympathize. So when you have apathy and you're detached totally, then I feel like it's almost like, it's almost like that boundaries, know, setting your boundaries and, you know, making sure that you're protecting yourself from

Emotional damage, emotional damage. Like literally you are because now you don't have to worry about like harboring on those thoughts or thinking about them afterwards. You know, it's almost like that whole how they say goes one ear and comes out the other. And it's like you don't have to worry about thinking about it later. So, you know, it.

speaker-0 (30:20)
there.

speaker-1 (30:42)
And it's not that you have, I don't necessarily even feel like apathy is like always a bad thing, you know? Because if you're protecting yourself, you know, from mental anguish and emotional feelings and depression, sadness, know, whatever, then self-protection is actually a good thing, you know?

So I don't feel like it's always bad. Now if you're like that all the time, it's like, dang, do you have any feelings?

speaker-0 (31:13)
right right right

speaker-1 (31:15)
⁓ no, do you feel anything if I pinch you are you gonna realize that this is real?

speaker-0 (31:20)
That's why.

speaker-1 (31:21)
So I don't know, but yeah, that's kind of how I feel about apathy.

speaker-0 (31:25)
Yeah, there's definitely dimensions to apathy as well, you know, because sometimes people just need to hear the honest truth. It's not that you don't care. It's just that I'm just about to give this to you in a manner that you just need to hear it because everybody else is coddling you right now. They're giving you this.

You know what saying? They handling you with this fine, no, fuck that. You need to this. You know what I'm saying? So that's apathy. That is apathy. It's tough love. That's what apathy is at times. It's not just, I don't care and I just, it is, don't care as well. But sometimes it's like, you know what? Somebody just need to tell you the truth. And here it is. So, depending on.

speaker-1 (32:07)
Right.

speaker-0 (32:11)
You can reach people at different levels. Sometimes people just, you know, get under your skin so much that all you feel now is that apathy. I don't love you. I don't hate you, but I'm going to tell you exactly how I feel. it's at the same time for those empaths. It's a release. You actually get to say whatever it is that you want to say to that person and you let it all back out.

You know, understand that sometimes you can also release some of the stuff that you've been carrying along with that onto that person as well. So just make sure that we're proportionate with what we're giving back to people, you know, sometimes you just let it all go.

speaker-1 (32:52)
Yeah, it's like I feel that I'm taking time bombs sometimes because of holding in so much and harboring in so much. then it's like all it takes is one person to like get me on a bad day. And then I'm just like, you know what? This is how it is, you know, and it comes off harsh. comes off, you know, it can come off kind of.

You know, just straught for some people who know me, you know what I'm saying? They're like, I didn't expect this kind of answer from you. I didn't expect you to react in this way. Well, you know what? Look, I'm sick of this. I'm sick of that. And now you just kept me at the right time. So now I'm going let you know how it is. And you asked me, so now I'm going give you the honest truth.

speaker-0 (33:35)
Yeah, people know that about me already. If you ask me a question, you definitely gonna get the truth. I'm not sugarcoated with nothing. You ask me, I'm gonna tell you. Otherwise, I'm gonna keep my mouth closed. I'm not going to go around just volunteering information or you know what saying, my two cents. But if you ask me something, I'm definitely gonna tell you. You might not want to hear exactly what it is, but I'm gonna tell you the truth. So, and this is what it is. You just got to know how to handle people and...

Sometimes you just don't care about their ego. You don't. Because most of the time it's their ego that got them in that situation that they're in to begin with, which is why you over here asking me for advice. You know? So just be honest. Be truthful. Sometimes you can don't sugarcoat too much. But be honest and be truthful so that they understand that it can be received. Right.

That's the main thing is like, the message be received? A lot of times you'll talk to people and you'll be nice to them and they just don't get it. You'll empathize, you'll sympathize and it's just like, they don't get it. But when that apathy comes across and they start looking at you, it's like, yeah, you might want to pick that up. You know what I'm saying? That bottom jaw that you don't drop. Because yes, I told you exactly what you wanted to hear, but it's a shop faculty. Can't help it.

speaker-1 (34:29)
Right?

speaker-0 (34:47)
Can't help that you're sure that I just told you this, but clearly nobody else around you was telling you this. You needed to hear it. yeah. What you got?

speaker-1 (34:56)
So what's the, what do think we need more of?

speaker-0 (34:58)
Love.

Hahaha!

man, we mean more love in the world.

speaker-1 (35:02)
You need more love in the world, which for me, I think would apply more to empathy. But I feel like at the same time with empathy, like I said before, I think it's a learning curve. think people need to learn how to be empathetic because I mean, even looking at the world right now, it's in total chaos. There's just so much going on when it comes to. I mean,

anything and everything the planet the animals the humans that are here You know different countries having issues with different countries people in the same country having different issues with people in the same country People of the same race or the same culture having issues with people of the same race and the same culture Families having issues with their own family Children having issues with their siblings the list goes on

It doesn't matter how small you break it down. It's so interesting. I was looking at a video today and or now this was yesterday. I was looking at a video yesterday with my kids and because we're learning about resources in the wild and how animals find these resources or competition and resources and we were looking at the sugar ants and they were like, you know, they're just like

moving so fast and they have so much order and things of that nature. Then comes these other animals. think they were, remember what kind of ants they were. But anyways, they're a little bit bigger. And then an army of them come invade this ant kingdom, who's like just basically trying to live on their own, be peaceful. They don't...

killed some of those and then they don't want to install the store the Queen to take the Queen back to their place to feed the Queen to the other Queen to their Queen and then take all their babies that are in little, you know. They're. Not a cocoon, I don't know why I'm thinking.

speaker-0 (37:07)
larvae

speaker-1 (37:09)
Yeah,

and they're taking those and they're taking them back to their place. So that way, when they hatch, they can make them slaves. I said, this is like this is crazy. This is absolutely crazy. So it don't matter what kingdom you're in. Animal kingdom, insect kingdom, human kingdom, whatever. We all got all these issues of like fighting and disadvantages and people not really seeing like

And it's crazy because we have these minds where we can actually know better and do better and make more changes. We have the ability to do these things and yet we choose not to. And it just blows my mind that we are, our brains are seeming to be formed as simple as these ants.

because they have simple minds. We have complex minds. And that's the benefit of having a complex mind is being able to make decisions for the good of the people, for the good of your family, for the good of the world, you know, and we're not doing that. So I feel like if we had more empathy, that we would really be able to see that. Like, I hate when I see someone on the side of the road and there's nothing I can do about it.

Like that bothers me. But there's other people in the country who'd be like, ⁓ they need to figure it out. They just need a job. OK, some of these people have tried to get jobs. And guess what? They are still on the street. There is a homeless person that works at a Dollar Tree that I know of. And they can't get home. They're literally homeless.

But they work at the Dollar Tree. But guess what? The Dollar Tree is not going to get them a home. So now you want to call them lazy and be like, oh, they're wasting space and all this blah, blah, blah. OK, well, now they can't win because at first you said all they needed was a You said they needed to get a job. OK, they got the job and now they still homeless. Now what? You know, and then you have these people who want to talk about all these children and stuff like that. And oh, they need this, you know.

They need to get these babies and make these babies and blah, blah, blah. But it's like, OK, people don't have money to make all these babies. Now what? Who's going to take care of all these homeless babies? I saw a mother outside of a Walmart once. had four babies with her. And they were all just laying on the ground, dirty and like, you know, and I'm just like. There's nothing I can do. I literally have nothing.

I gave them whatever cash was in my purse. Meanwhile, my bank account is looking like in a negative, you know? And I'm just like...

I more. I still have more. I have a house, have a car, job, have all these things and you and people just don't see it that way. And I think it just blows my mind that you can't feel for these people or that you have so much hate in your heart that you can't empathize with somebody that's going through stuff. Now granted, I have seen the Skid Row documentary and some of those people admit it.

haha

crazily admitted that they want to be there. You can't be mad at them if that's where they want to be because they don't want to know a lot of their reasoning. I get it. They were like, I don't want to pay taxes. I don't want to pay for somebody else. I mean, even there was one guy. He was like, why should I work? He said, why should I work to pay for a house?

that I don't own because the government really owns it because I still have to pay taxes because they own the land. Even if I pay for the land, they still own the land. I still have to pay. I still have to pay for light gas water. I still have to pay to be in this house, which means I still have to work and still have to pay taxes. He's like, anybody got time for that?

get it. But it's I think it's at the end of the day, it does have a lot to do with comfortability. and like what you're willing to deal with, you know, like I've even heard you say, like, I'm not ⁓ tied to nobody's clock. You know, right.

speaker-0 (41:15)
and I'm not.

speaker-1 (41:16)
get it. You know, it's you finding your spot, you know, your sweet spot or whatever. So there, yes, there are people who are like, I want to be here because I don't have time for these things, you know, but there are legitimate people out there that are struggling. You know, there are people that's not even homeless struggling. Like. I have a house, but I don't have money to pay for food. You know, I got to figure out how to get food from other sources, you know.

I've seen, you know, people dealing with that. They're like, OK, I got to find these food pantries. And, you know, there's churches and certain centers that do it. But, you know, it's like there's always something for somebody. it's like, even when people try, like the girl I spoke to with the four kids outside of Wal-Mart, she was like, I guess there when you go inside of a shelter, it's like first come, first serve.

And if they don't have the space, can't let you in. So then you have to kind of figure it out on your own until you can figure out how to get it. So I didn't even realize that that was even a thing. Like I'm kind of ignorant to it. You know, I'm learning more, especially as an adult, because I'm trying to figure it out and I'm trying to understand like what's actually going on there, you know, in our world, in our system. I'm trying to learn more.

So that way I'm not as ignorant, but there's still so much that I'm just like, don't even want to know. Cause it's so like, cause I empathize with all of that and I feel all of that and it bothers me. It makes me sick. Like I had to stop watching the news cause I legitimately was getting sick. Like legitimately, like having a lot of internal like stomach issues from the stress of watching the news.

And then people want to be like, ⁓ that's the, you have to watch the news. You got to watch the news because you need to know, you need to know. And it's like, yeah, you might want to know a little bit, but you don't actually have to know everything because it literally can make you sick. It literally can't.

speaker-0 (43:17)
If the news had more positive stories.

speaker-1 (43:20)
They not gonna do that.

speaker-0 (43:21)
We know, we know because what sells is fear. What sells is fear mongering. So you tell about the disasters, you tell about the shootings, you tell about all the things that are bad because that's what draws people in. That's what people are attracted to. It is what it is. So with that being said, especially as an empath, pay attention to what you paying attention to.

The more you consume that type of content, the more it consumes you. So just keep that in mind. You start to think and act and behave like the things that you see. I know there, as you were saying, some of the places that people can actually go to, and obviously we'll do some research. We'll put it on the screen here as well.

speaker-1 (43:53)
Hmm?

speaker-0 (44:08)
Military people, know, I'm probably military. If you're near a military installation, there's a USO definitely on that installation. And they do offer meals. They have stuff that you can take home, things that they have a pantry, things of that nature as well. So if you guys are not aware of that and you do have military ID cards, you are authorized to go into there and partake.

So those are one things. And again, other locations for those personnel that are people that are not military. You know, like we say, you have places like the Salvation Army, you're to have food banks at certain churches, things of that nature. Whatever is local, you might have to look at look them up and see what's there. Again, we will gather some information and places on the national things on the screen here just to make sure that people can get help or resources that they need.

You know, again, when it comes down to empathy, sympathy and apathy, you just really have to take it a step at a time. You have to meet a person where they are and you have to just see which one would actually apply best in this situation.

speaker-1 (45:13)
Absolutely, absolutely.

All right

speaker-0 (45:17)
That's been another episode of All in One. Thank you guys for coming out. Catch you on the next one. We're all in, we're all in one.