Toxic Logic: Stop Letting Other People’s Egos Rule Your Life

Aye yo, welcome back to All In One—the podcast where we keep it real and keep it authentic. 

This Sunday morning, Arya and Unc are sitting down to unpack a massive issue holding so many of us back: Toxic Logic. We are breaking down the unspoken stipulations, internal egos, and absolute lack of personal accountability that create unnecessary tension in our relationships, families, and everyday business moves. 

In this episode, we dive deep into:
• Forcing Obligations — The hidden trap behind "If you loved me, you would do this."
• Standing on Business — Why learning to say "No" is your ultimate superpower, even if it makes others uncomfortable.
• The Accountability Illusion — Why people change their energy and look for a fallout when they are called out on their own mess.
• Perception vs. Ego — Dissecting how people rewrite narratives just to protect their own image.

It's time to stop letting people recruit you to problems that have nothing to do with you. Stop enabling the behavior, lock in your boundaries, and stand on business.

💬 DROP A COMMENT: What's the craziest piece of toxic logic you've ever had to shut down? Drop it in the community tab or over on our page—we respond to everyone!

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#AIOPodcast #ToxicLogic #StandingOnBusiness #RealAndAuthentic #PersonalGrowth

Transcript

— Welcome to All In One: Real & Authentic

Speaker 0:00

Hey yo, welcome to All In One. If this your first time here, welcome. If you're a return and visit or welcome back. This is a podcast where we keep it real. We keep it authentic. Day's topic, we done go ahead and jump right into it. We're talking about toxic logic. Stupid shit we say. Things that we do and actually expect other people to abide by. Why is that? Let's talk about it. Let's get right into it. So talk to me, tell me what you got.

Speaker 2 0:25

You know, I was thinking about um like different things that people say that like kind of make you wanna can't say what I want to say. But you know, they say things and you're looking at them like I don't even make sense. Like, for example, if they say, oh, you know, well, if you love me, you do this. Or if you my friend, you would do this. Or, you know, you might you might you my sister, you supposed to do this. Since when have when have these like been like the the rules of life? Since when have just because you feel like there's some sort of quote unquote stipulation that I'm supposed to abide by the things that you want me to do. It just drives me nuts. If this is something that I feel like I'm supposed to do or that I want to do, then you know that's one thing. But like you're not getting ready to trap me into your shenanigans with your just because you're my friend, I'm supposed to do this. I had to learn this like really, really hard and like really put my foot down on certain things because I've been currently um dealing with a situation with a friend or questionable friend. Questionable friend, who's basically made trying to make me feel obligated to do things because I've known them forever and because I've

— Unpacking "Toxic Logic": Unwritten Rules and Expectations

Speaker 2 1:45

been in their lives and I've witnessed things or I've just been that person. It's like, no, this is my time where I have to say no. I know you're not used to me saying no, but that's what it is right now. You have to accept that. And the crazy thing is like they're not really accepting that. And now that I'm saying no, and now that I'm like ignoring things, now I can tell that there is tension. And it's like, why are you creating tension where there should not be tension because I said no, and I'm I'm standing on business. Like, no means no. You know, I don't have to have reasons for my no's. You don't know what's going on with me. Even if there wasn't anything going on with me, like I'm still allowed to say no. Does that make sense?

Speaker 2:31

It makes perfect sense. But for some reason, people think that no is not an option. It's like you gotta do this. Oh, you have to. The fuck I do. No, it's always an option. Yeah. I can't see it. It's like I I get where you're coming from on this, especially with friends and family. Ones that want to make you feel obligated, and that's that toxic logic that we're talking about. Just because it's always been done this way. Right. Doesn't necessarily mean it's the right way, or that we've been doing things the right way. Maybe we've just been doing the shit the wrong way this whole time. Let's try that on for a thing.

Speaker 2 3:09

We need that on a t-shirt.

Speaker 3:11

Check the merch store.

Speaker 2 3:13

Check the merch store, seriously. Because we just been doing it wrong this whole time, you know? And um, you know, people like to try to be like, yeah, no, well, you know, I've always been this way. And it's like, no, not always been this way. You haven't been acting weird. You're just acting weird now because you see that I'm not rolling with whatever it is that you're telling me to roll with, you know? And it's like, no, yeah, your attitude has changed. What do you mean your attitude hasn't changed? Yes, it has. And I can tell. But it's like, I don't know, I feel like some people, especially when you've known them for a long time, they act like you don't know when they've changed. You're acting like this this whole time you've been blind. It's like, no, I know you. I can tell when your energy is off. I can tell when you're moving differently, and I can tell that you're treating me differently. And don't act like you're not. No, like I see these things and I know these things. And like, like I can call you, and

— The Obligation Trap: "If You Loved Me, You'd Do This"

Speaker 2 4:15

now all of a sudden you're just giving me one-word responses. Oh, yeah, yes. That means you got some issues going on. You big mad about something.

Speaker 4:26

And then I don't want to talk about it. Because it's nothing. It's not me. It's not me. I'm not acting funny. So, I mean, when it comes down to toxic logic, there are so many different avenues that we can actually approach when it comes down to it, right? So you look at it like again, traditions. Traditions can also be considered toxic logic. Yeah. Because it's something that's passed down to us from generation to generation, and some are good, others not so much. Do we have to keep up those same ones even though they're really not that good? Mm-hmm. Do we have to make the same decisions because this is what the family dynamic is, or this is what the friendship has evolved into. Like, nah, man, it's got do something different. So for me, it's like being in a relationship and you you think about some of the things that you end up going through, right? When it comes down to toxic logic. You you could you become familiar with certain things, so certain things just become normal to you.

Speaker 2 5:25

Right.

Speaker 5:25

But then when you really take a step back and you look at this person and this person's action, it's like the hell were you thinking? Why would you do that? Why would you even say that to me? You know, and it and it's insert whatever it was that was said that somebody is dead ass serious about, right? Like, this is what it is. And it's like you wrong, but some people are just loud and wrong and adamant about whatever it is that they're they're passionate. Let's do it that way. They're passionate about whatever it is that they are discussing or you know, saying trying to get across.

Speaker 2 5:59

Right.

Speaker 6:00

And a lot of times it's just like, do you hear yourself? Like chauvinistic somewhat, but hear me out. I was in a relationship once and I got into an argument about washing dishes. And it was, it was the way that it was presented at the particular point in time. It's like, I want you to want to wash dishes. Do you hear yourself? Nobody wants to. Like, do you hear yourself? Who the fuck? What adult do you know that wants to wash dishes? The logic don't make sense. I get it. Everybody, you know what I'm saying? People try to avoid that particular task as much as they possibly can sometimes.

Speaker 2 6:33

And it's something for dishwashers.

Speaker 6:35

Right. Or a person like that just don't mind washing dishes.

Speaker 2 6:39

Even that can be taxing, you know, because you like, oh man, I gotta load, I gotta unload, I gotta put stuff in the cabinets and make sure everything was dry, because sometimes everything doesn't dry, so now I gotta dry it.

Speaker 6:53

Right. But to me, it was more or less of the it was the mindset is that I want you to want to do this.

Speaker 2 6:59

Right.

Speaker 7:00

But nobody in their right mind really wants to do that. So, you know, it's like you can insert anything. I'm using dishes as a and as an example, but I am certain that a lot of people, as a matter of fact, if you got one of those things, drop it in the comments, you know, and we'll go ahead and we'll discuss that as well. We'll make sure to keep that going. We do reply back. So and it's like people just have all these ideas that they come along with, and it's like they want you to follow whatever pattern, whatever

— Standing on Business & The Power of "No"

Speaker 7:30

tradition, whatever mindset, no matter how wrong it might seem or how illogical it may be. It's like, but do it because I said so. I want this, you know what I'm saying? So you gotta make me happy. That's another one, but let's we'll come back to it. Go ahead.

Speaker 2 7:44

Tiss, test, test. I'm actually gonna jump on that one. She gotta make me happy. Since when has it been my responsibility to make you happy? No, you are happy, and that's your responsibility to be happy. I'm sorry. Now I can obviously be around you and give you peace, and that happiness I can cause chaos and cause. But at the end of the day, if I'm causing chaos or if I'm giving peace, it's still up to you to decide if you're gonna accept my chaos or my peace. And that's gonna interfere with your happiness because you have made it so, not the other way around. You know, I think sometimes people just don't like to take accountability for the things that they're doing. And it's just like they were you were in trouble. People avoid it all the time, you know, and it's just like they they don't take accountability, so they don't want to tell the truth. They don't want, they're just avoiding everything at all costs, you know, avoiding the growth, avoiding the truth. That's again going back to the that's just how I am, or I've always been this way. No, no, take accountability on your shit. If you're messed up, then you're messed up, you know? Whatever. So, and uh at the end, it's like people don't uh realize like when you do mess up or you lie, the truth is gonna come out regardless. So just go ahead and fess up, just go ahead and take on take ownership of that, whatever it was, whether you said something or you did something, you know, and fix it. Make it right.

Speaker 9:30

I mean no, no, it's your fault. It's your fault, it's not my fault. I'm perfect, it's your fault.

Speaker 2 9:37

Yeah, that's that's literally what it is. That's literally what it is. It's like, oh, I'm doing nothing wrong going back to my person, me, but like you don't want to take accountability for the things that you have done. Meanwhile, I'm saying, yeah, I did do that. I messed up, I'm gonna work on doing better. But you, nothing. Absolutely nothing, no accountability. You did nothing wrong. This is not your fault. You're perfect. I'm supposed to cater to you, and that's just that.

Speaker 10:11

Yeah, that's pretty much it. And then when you finish, make sure you come back and check on me and see if I need something else, okay?

Speaker 2 10:16

That part. Because the job is never done.

Speaker 10:19

So touching on that, right? Another toxic logic that comes right around that same conversation is as soon as you tell someone or bring to light something that someone else is doing, the toxic logic becomes, I don't want to talk about that. Why are you bringing that up right now? I want to I only want to talk about this one thing that I just brought up. We ain't gonna talk about the stuff I do. We'll stay right here, stay focused on this.

Speaker 2 10:43

Right.

Speaker 10:44

And I get it.

Speaker 2 10:45

Why are you bringing up old stuff?

Speaker 10:49

I get that to an extent. As you had an opportunity, was up, hey, look, when it bothered you, you should have said something at that particular point in time. Don't wait till I bring up something to now say that you want to do, you know what I'm saying? Oh, what about when you did toxic logic? You know, it's like tit for tat, why are we doing this? Because at the end of the day, why are we doing it? You know what I'm saying? Because it's like, I don't get it. Why are we catering to people's perceptions, people's egos, people,

— Why Do People Think "No" Isn't an Option?

Speaker 11:20

I can go on a whole rant on that. But um, it's like, I just want to get to the basis. And a lot of times people don't want to address what's actually happening. They want to live behind the fallacy, the image of which they have created or that they have in their mind. Again, I'm perfect. I ain't did nothing wrong. If you hadn't did this, then I wouldn't have did that. I just brought up one. You made me do it. At this big age? Somebody made you do something at this big age. Really? You sure one wasn't what you already wanted to do? And that's why you did it. Because can't nobody make me do a motherfucking thing.

Speaker 2 11:56

Right, right.

Speaker 11:58

You can tell me to do something, you can expect me to do it, but you can't make me do it. Period. You know, talk to me. Tell me that.

Speaker 2 12:09

I think that goes back into like one, there's there's always two parts to to everything, to every conversation, even your toxic traits and stuff that people have. There's perception and then there's ego. And people really don't want to address the thing that's like actually happening. They want to try to do whatever can whatever they whatever they can to basically like protect themselves in that situation. And they create all these things in their head, all these stuff to make sure that I'm good. I'm right. I didn't do anything wrong. So this is all you. This is all on you. This is all your fault. Instead of being like, you know, maybe I did mess up over here. Maybe I did skip your feelings. Maybe I was thinking about myself. Maybe I was a little selfish and I decided that my hurt was bigger than yours. And so you some you're you were invalid at that time. Like your feelings didn't matter at that time, or whatever you were going through just didn't matter because I'm the one that's hurting. I'm the one that's sad, and I'm the one that's dealing with this, or I'm the one that has trouble, you know? And it just fits their own ego and their own narrative. It's really toxic altogether, to be honest. And it's exhausting to even think about and to even like be in relationships like that. And it's like, honestly, this is why it's like it's so good to like break down, like, which is what I'm doing now. And I kind of I was feeling bad about it at first until I spoke to another girlfriend about it. And I was like, I'm putting everybody into categories. I was like, I'm putting everybody into categories. And I'm just not saying that I'm really keeping tallies or anything, but at the same time That's what I was gonna say. At the same time, I kind of am because I'm like I'm so sick of doing so much for everyone to a point where now like I've never really ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever had to ask for help ever in my life. And I've gotten to a point where like now I do sometimes have to ask for help. And like it's hard for me to do that because I've never done it before. And so now I'm in a point where I'm like fighting for like I have to do this thing, or I know I'm responsible for this thing. So I can't cater to you. I can't be there for you. Like, I want to be there. I'm realizing like now that's a problem. And it's like, wait, what?

— Breaking the Pattern: "We’ve Been Doing It Wrong This Whole Time"

Speaker 2 14:45

You're supposed to be my what? My friend, and you're acting like this, you know, like absolutely not. So yeah, everybody's going into categories now, and I'm starting to really, really pay attention to like what people are doing and not doing. And um, it's so funny because another girlfriend of mine just came back into my life, and uh I think I spoke about her once before, and we've been taking our time, you know. Like it hasn't been like, bam, bam, we're like, we're like back at it, like nothing's changed. I love her to death. I've never stopped loving her, even though we stopped being, you know, cool or whatever. I've always thought of her as like she's still my friend, even though she wasn't like in my life or whatever. But now I'm just like I'm noticing certain things and I'm just like, you know, I should have picked up on this before, you know, because I'm like a person that a person that really like cares about you and a person that is like thinking about you, even if they mess up, like they're still gonna eventually they they should be able to apologize if they're good for you. They should be able to, you know, make up for loss of effort, whatever, by whatever it is that you feel like you need in order for your relationship to to grow. It could be a conversation, you know, it could be actually showing that they have changed or that they are sorry for the thing that they did, like not repeating patterns and stuff like old patterns. You would think this is like a simple thing to do, you know? And it's like that's because you can tell the difference between a person who has ego and who's not. Their ego is allowing them to rewrite situations, come up with their own solution to protect their own image because this is what they're supposed to look like. So I'm never gonna be the bad person, ever, even if I am.

Speaker 16:42

That part that part. So another thing that came to mind as you were speaking there was the uh twisting of words, which is also taught to you about yeah, twisting of words. I say this. Well, I thought you meant this. I didn't say that. So how did you come to that conclusion that I meant this when I clearly said this right here, you know? So that gets on my nerve. You know what I'm saying? It's like, don't put words in my mouth, don't assume that I said something that I did not say, take my words for face value. Because the type of person that I am, I'm going to say exactly what I mean. And if you assume that I meant something different, then that's on you, not on me. Those were not my words. Those were your words. And I'll I'm quick to let you know, don't put words in my mouth, I didn't say that. Full of record, I didn't say that. You said that. Who said that? You know what I'm saying? Like when did I say that? At what part of the conversation? And that's the thing that you have to get into. Is like when they say you said something, ask them to repeat to you. Verbatim. What part of the conversation did I say that? Walk me back through that conversation, and then they're going to spiral along something else. And they'll find something else to be your fault. But again, this all goes back to toxic logic. Some people just think differently. I don't want to insult anyone. Some people just think differently. So uh elevator didn't quite go all the way to the top flow, but hey, who am I? Got stuck in a basement, right? Well, it's like you just have to sit

— Micro-Shifts: Recognizing When Someone’s Energy Changes

Speaker 18:10

back and you have to deal with people as they are. I like what you said about the ego. And oftentimes a person who really stands in their ego, their ego is much louder than any words they ever say. You know, actions. Actions mean so much more than words. Because you can make your mouth say anything. We all know this. But those actions, when you really sit down and watch, okay, you saying this, but you doing that. That don't add up, that don't align. Call them out right then and there. Do not give them an opportunity to come up with a backstory or call them out right then and there as they are doing it and see how the conversation shifts. It's definitely gonna become your fault at that point. But I'll digress. Go ahead.

Speaker 2 18:51

No, I think that's the problem though, is it's really about like what you are listening to and what you're understanding. That goes back into back into um perspective. I'm trying to be that person, or I always try to be that person that's like, all right, so let me get your perspective on there. So what is your idea about what it is that was that was even said? I love reiterating in conversations with people just so I can be like, oh, okay. So what I heard you say is because I'm like, I'm trying to catch, make sure I'm not being caught, bro. I'm also trying to make sure that you you know what you're saying too. You know, because you're not getting ready to hit me with a well, I thought you said, and you're not gonna explain what you thought I said. You're not getting ready to get away with that. So I'm getting ready to respond to what I heard you say is now correct me if I'm wrong, but then you just say.

Speaker 19:54

Oh God, I be saying that same thing, and people can't.

Speaker 2 19:58

And they don't, they they are like throws you off, you know. I'm ready. No, I'm that type of person. You you are not gonna have to be confused with anything that I say because I I will even question you about it. Like, did you get that? Did you understand? And I'm not, I'm not the um, you know what I mean type of person. I hear people say that all the time. And it's like, do I really know what you mean? But do you really know what I mean? Because I need you to know. I'm not getting ready to be like, oh, you know what I mean. I'm not, you know what I mean? No, I don't know what you mean. And I can't I can get people with that too. I'd be like, no, can you further explain? Can you further explain what you mean? Because I don't need no kind of miscommunication right here.

Speaker 20:41

Right. Then um what I heard you say was, I've had a conversation like that. It went to such. So what I just heard you say was, you can talk to me any kind of way that you want to. And in return, I am only supposed to speak to you with dignity in return. It's please. And that was deserving. You know what I mean? Like, no, we're not gonna do that. I'll edit that part out. It's like that ain't gonna happen. I can't see that happening. It's like people expect, and you have to look at them because some people actually think that they are above you in some way, shape, form, or fashion.

Speaker 2 21:17

Oh, yeah, for sure. Especially, especially when it comes to like age and experience. Like people confuse the two and think that like I'm older, so I know better, and I can answer these questions better. I'm more experienced than you are, so therefore I know better than you do in this situation.

— Toxic Traditions vs. True Accountability

Speaker 2 21:40

And it's like, wait, first of all, no and no. Your experiences do not mean you know more, and your age does not mean you know more. They do not go hand in hand. They do not go hand.

Speaker 22:00

That shit wrong the whole time. The whole time. They're getting away with it. Nonetheless, because nobody checked them or nobody knew enough to challenge that thought process or whatever it is. But I digress.

Speaker 2 22:10

Right. No, I get it. Because you have to look at it's just like a number of things you have to look at. It's like, yeah, you can look at experiences, but you can there's like several avenues with that experience. Who did you encounter? Who did you talk to? Who taught you? You know? Because I'm sorry. If I have a person, this can go on to another, another topic. But I personally do not believe in spanking your children. But I know that there's some people out there who do. And I'm to each their own. I know there's reasons for, you know, whatever. But I have just found like some kids. Okay, let me take that back. Some kids, some kids just need a little break in their backside. But anyways, let me go back. No, I just think like there are certain ways that you certain things that you just have to try with your kids because they're not always gonna be the same. And this is the reason why I don't believe in spankins, is because I look at my brother and I, we're Irish twins, and I don't know how we are so completely different. It's crazy. And we obviously grew up in the same home, same parents, no, like same life. We were given the same opportunities, everything was the same. And for the life of me, I don't understand. This dude got so many whoopings. He got so many whoopings, he still was crazy. Like he still was out there and like he still was doing stuff. And I'm looking at him like, okay, let me get a pen because don't do that. Don't do that. Definitely don't do that because you're gonna get in trouble. And don't do that because you're gonna get in trouble. And so it kept it kept me on my feet, so I didn't have to get in trouble. But it's like, but for me, like you put me in my room, you tell me you have to go in your room, like you can't go outside, you can't hang out with your friends, and now I'm like, okay. Like that worked for me. Like I didn't have to get a whooping because like I didn't want to be outcast. Like I'm I'm I'm I was very, very, very, very extroverted. I feel like I'm I'm growing into an ambivert now because sometimes people just people, people be people in. So I'm turning I'm turning into an ambivert now. So I but I still have my extrovert moments. But like for me as an extrovert, like not being able to like hang out with my friends and not being able to like, you know, do certain things or whatever, like that was enough for me to like stay in line, you know, or I'd be like, you have to stay in your room. I'm like, that's boring. I mean, yeah, I would read or study or draw or write, but like there's only so much you can do. If you have to do that every day, like if you're on punishment for a week and you have to do that every day, like that is not the life for me, you know? So I feel like you have to kind of figure out your own. But I just say that to say, like, there's there's two different perspectives on on every side.

Speaker 25:12

Yeah, I agree. And I was much like your

— The "Hold My Beer" of Life: Loud, Wrong, and Passionate

Speaker 25:15

brother. I was the only son, only boy in the household. I had two sisters. Uh, you know, one of us gotta be the daredevil. Um if you're not living on the edge, you're just taking up space. You know what I'm saying? So you gotta do something. But it's just like, I don't know, when you're young, especially as a young male, I'm not making any excuses. So please don't take it that way. It's just that as a young male having an adrenaline rust mind, everything is action. Even when you get older, it's hold my beer. You know, it's it's just, it's just, hey man, watch this. You know what I'm saying? It's like the number one thing that toxic logic, people that say that we say right before something crazy fucking happens. I mean, think about it. If you go back and watch any video of somebody seriously getting hurt from their toxic logic, it started out with, hold my beer, uh, hey, watch this. Trying to show off for somebody else, right? And next thing you know, Lynch, we're on our way to the hospital. You know what I'm saying? Go lay your dumb ass down. Didn't have no business doing that. Now we ain't going to the hospital. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 26:22

It's it's funny because my mom was a um a pediatric nurse, and I remember like we were we got hurt so much. My my mom, she was like, I'm surprised nobody called DCF on us because y'all got hurt so much. Like, every all all three of um my um my oldest sister and then my brother, both all of us like had our eyebrow cut open because we done did something crazy. I've broken both of my arms. And um, when you was telling that story, it just reminded me of um I used to do tricks on my bike. And uh and I just was like, one day I was like, I've been down this hill several times. This was the usually I go down the street, or I should not a hill, street. Usually when I would go down the street, I would do it in the street. So there was no issues. I'd climb on the back of my bike, I'd be surfing my bike. I decided to do this on the sidewalk. Don't know what I was thinking, but I just was like, I'm gonna do this on a sidewalk. I'm surfing my bike on the sidewalk. I didn't realize that the sidewalk did not have an off-ramp. So at the end, I tried to jump down and I did not crouch down fast enough to control my bike, and I went tumbling. I done scraped up my arm, my legs, my knees. That this is how you know you lived. If you don't have no scars on your knees, you ain't leaving designer. I'm just saying. So my I went home. Obviously, I'm walking my bike at this point, and I'm just like crying all of a sudden I'm hurt. The first thing my mom tells me to do, get in the shower.

Speaker 27:56

Right.

Speaker 2 27:58

When I say I felt like my body was on fire, on fire. Like, oh my gosh. Yeah. So I get the adrenaline. I know. In my head, I was like, this is gonna be cool. Right, right. I'm like, I've done this before on the street. I'm just gonna do it on the sidewalk.

Speaker 28:15

What do you think? What was going through your head when you had your toxic logic drop that comment below. We need to hear this. That was my toxic logic. Especially before I turn 26. Yeah. Anything before then, it's a blur. Yeah, it's a blur. I don't remember. I don't recall. I cannot confirm nor deny. Not my confessions.

Speaker 2 28:38

I mean, I think we all like obviously have there's some toxic logic that is like, okay, this is kind of acceptable. Because it's like, oh, you did things that you maybe thought

— Subconscious Entitlement: Forcing People to Follow Your Script

Speaker 2 28:50

was gonna work out or pan out. It didn't hurt anybody. You know, maybe you hurt yourself, but like it wasn't really hurting anybody. But like when you're actively doing something that's involving other people and you're causing problems where there should not be any problems, again, not taking accountability, not being honest, trying to be like, this is this is a you thing, not a me thing, this is your fault, this is your problem. Then it's like now you gotta look in the mirror. You need to start checking yourself, like really look inside yourself to figure out like what kind of person you are or what kind of person you wanna be.

Speaker 29:26

Perfect. Nothing wrong with me. Must be something wrong with you.

Speaker 2 29:30

Yeah, exactly. And it's like um, I don't know, like, I just feel like sometimes people don't realize like also that the toxic logics, you know. I don't know, I don't even know if this feels like if it feels like it's coming from a a a bad place or if it's just like this is their safe place. Cause I don't understand why would someone want to and I I get it, it's the ego, but it's like ego can only go so far. Like you can ready to start pushing a whole bunch of people out of your life because this is how you're gonna be shifting. You know, you're gonna treat this person this way, and you're gonna treat that person that way, and you're trying to see how many people you can make feel obligated to care for you and be there for you when you aren't there for anybody else.

Speaker 30:27

You said that. It's not only that, I take it a step farther, or just one half step, is that those same people would also try to control the narrative around you. So they see you some way, so they want to paint that picture of you to other people to get other people to say the same thing about you as well. That also falls into that toxic logic, you know what I'm saying? It's like, and then for me, for the life of me, what I can understand is if somebody don't even know you to not even know you and to have that much hatred for you based upon something somebody else said. There's no fact-checking whatsoever. It's just, well, this person said it, and I believe that person, so it must be true. Toxic. Nothing can be farther from the truth. You know, it's like taking it all the way back. I'm dating myself right now, right? But uh we had President Reagan. One of the main things he used to always say, trust but verify. Trust but verify. It's okay to trust someone, but be verify that information that they gave you. Go do your fact-checking. And another thing is I cannot stress this particular one enough. This is toxic logic. And if you fall into it without questioning, then you may want to reconsider how you think as well. But if, damn it, where was I finna go with that? I done lost my damn train of thought. Where was that? Where was I going? Oh my god. I was talking about people around you doing stuff, and then oh my god, I lost. It went, it went away just that fast. I can't even.

Speaker 2 31:57

And you you were talking about you said resident, right? And then you said one thing he said to do was trust trust trust verify, and then you were talking

— Emotional Independence: Whose Job Is It to Make You Happy?

Speaker 2 32:10

about facts.

Speaker 32:11

If you are the type of person that jumps on a bandwagon and just believes whatever it is that somebody else has said without verifying anything, that's what it was. Here it is. Toxic logic, and if you believe it or if you've heard it and you just didn't realize what you were falling into, that person that's always doing that, whispering, that's always doing that, whispering. Hey, you ain't hear this from me, but that messy ass person right there, the one that's always keeping stuff up. Well, don't tell so-and-so I said this. Why? Why is it that I can't say what you just repeated to that individual that you just talked about? If it's true, if it's true, then they wouldn't have a problem saying that, yeah, that shit happened. It wasn't quite like that. Yeah, it happened, but this right here, what they left out. Right. Don't say nothing to them because you know how they is. That's toxic. That is 100% toxic. That's true. Do you really know how that person is? Did you talk to them? Did you ask them? Did you get their side of the story? Because there's three sides to every story.

Speaker 2 33:09

Right.

Speaker 33:09

There's your side, my side, and the truth. Your side and my side is not gonna align because we're in argument. You're at odds. But for somebody to say, don't say nothing to that person, first indication that they are lying to you, very first indication that that person has just lied to you. And for you to believe it blindly is toxic logic. Mic drop the discussion.

Speaker 2 33:31

Definitely, you know, and you have to for sure base you know, operate, you know, on truth. You can't just sit here and listen to what he says and she says, you know, because you know, I've done this with my students before. I've like had them literally, like, what that game, um, remember the game telephone? I've literally had them play that. And like I'll tell them one thing, and by the time I get to the last person, the story has completely changed.

Speaker 34:00

Right.

Speaker 2 34:00

Completely changed. Right. So like you can't just be like, well, you know, this person told me, you know, like I remember when I was a kid, there was this rumor in school about me, and a person who I thought was my friend helped spread this rumor. And I'm like, another girlfriend of mine called her out on it, and then she came and got me and made her repeat what she was telling everybody else. Yo, I was like, she's still my friend to this day. So she gave her birthday. Shout out to Crystal, happy birthday, boo. Um yeah, no, like I remember she like calling her out. She was like, tell her what you said. Like, you out here spreading it. And she was like, Well, I was told by this person, and I thought that it was true. And I was just, oh my goodness, it was so crazy because I'm like, you didn't even verify the information. Like, I'm supposed to be your girl. You think I'm gonna tell you?

Speaker 35:00

Right.

Speaker 2 35:00

Come on now. Oh my god, blind belief, and I swear. And next thing you know, it's blind leading blind leading the blind, leading the more blind.

Speaker 35:10

Everybody's off track.

Speaker 2 35:11

Seriously. Like, man, makes me feel like people just be switching up on you, you know, too, because then you find out and you're like, oops, I don't know. I don't want to say that. And it's like, no, just be real. Just be real. You know what you know what was saying, you know what you did, you know what you participated in. Be real.

Speaker 35:31

Say what you mean.

Speaker 2 35:32

Say what you mean and mean what you say.

Speaker 35:34

What you say.

Speaker 2 35:35

Serious. I mean, like, dang, can you at least do a quick Google search on me first?

Speaker 35:39

Not even.

— Avoiding Growth: Why People Hide Behind a Fallacy

Speaker 35:40

Or, or, or, or, we also have this one right here, too, right? So you got that person that has this one snidget of evidence that could be true. Not necessarily true, but then you got this grand conclusion of what everything that's on transpired based on this one little piece of information. What you do with that? Is that not toxic or is that just, is it?

Speaker 2 36:02

Yeah. One little piece of information.

Speaker 36:05

One little piece. It must be true. This one little piece is true, so everything else they say gotta be true. See, that goes to a whole nother story, right? And uh about paying attention to the people that you're around, how they move, how they speak, um, and how they the type of things that they say to certain people. Because they might, again, might tell a whole story. Well, me and so-and-so was in the room, and then they said this right here. And the only part of that story that was true was that we was in the room as we were passing by each other. Not necessarily that we were sitting there having a conversation, but we were actually in that same room at that one particular time, nothing else transpired, and all of a sudden there's a whole story behind what happened, even though it didn't happen, but they knew this part was true. So everything else must be true too, right? Must be. But nobody verifies. Everybody just runs with a story. Why is that? Is that not toxic logic?

Speaker 2 36:55

No verification? Hmm. Yeah, I I think um, I think like people people will just feel comfortable with running with whatever they feel comfortable running with, honestly. I think it's I think it doesn't even have to be like verification or not. I just I just people I think people hear something and they're like, oh, well, that sounds good. I'm gonna believe that instead of thinking logically. The issue, too, that I find with that is how are you supposed to know this person? And you know both entities, you know both person A and you know both person B. Well, person A tells you this story. Why don't you question, like, you know, that don't sound like that don't sound like person B to me. Like, why can't that be your thought? Why does it have to be, oh, well, dang, I know that. I believe it now. You said it because you got to be first. Like, I really, oh, it's so gross. It just misses me off because it's like you're listening to one person, you didn't even question whether or not this person is even wrong. Like, for me, I'd be like, oh well, are you sure? Like, that doesn't sound like them. Are you sure they did that? Or maybe you misread it, maybe you misunderstood? Did you re did you ask them? You know, did you talk to them again about it? You know, did you clarify the conversation that you had with this person? Or if it wasn't even a conversation that you had with this person, did you verify the information that you found out is even right before now telling me? Because at this point now it's a rumor.

Speaker 38:39

Right.

Speaker 2 38:40

Right now, right, we doing that? Because I know we was in the business of creating rumors like sell the sizzle.

Speaker 38:54

So, how do you avoid that though, right? When it comes down to, okay, I got what you're saying and I hear you. But for me personally, I'm telling folks, hey man, don't talk to me about so-and-so-and-so. They ain't here to defend themselves. That's that's the first thing that comes out of my mouth. They ain't here to defend themselves. Say it in front of them. And if you can't say it in front of them, I don't want to hear it. Don't come over here telling

— The Deflection Cycle: "Why Are You Bringing Up Old Stuff?"

Speaker 39:15

me, don't do it, because I'm gonna shut it down. That's just me. I'm not invalidating what you're saying. I'm just telling you that I don't want to hear that shit that you're saying. So, you know what I'm saying? Leave me out of it. I have nothing to do with it. I'm not finna play the middleman. Y'all need to work that out. Because that's what I'm gonna tell you. Y'all need to work that out. I'm not gonna give you advice as to what you need to do. You need to talk to them. The same way you're trying to talk to me. Go talk to them. Tell them all the things that you're telling me. Why can't you do that? Why won't you do that?

Speaker 2 39:40

To me, that just sounds like you are setting boundaries, honestly. So I get it. You know, I respect that. Like, keep me out. This is where I stand. Don't include me in your shenanigans, you know, and that's real. You know, I feel like a lot of people do this is another toxic trait. It's like a lot of people are in the business of being in business that does not pay them. Say it again for people in the back. Sorry, but like, are you paying me right now? Do we have business right now where this is monetary transaction? Because I'm not trying to be in that. Like, you you have too much time on your hand. I can't do it. You know, what's that? Um this song or quote what you make. I can't argue with you. You make that it's so real on so many levels, man. Because I'm not getting ready to sit here and argue with you. I'm not gonna sit here and debate with you. And this means nothing. Like, if you want to talk to me about something that's dealing with us, but don't start bringing other people into, you know, telling me what they got going on and, you know, whatever. Obviously, okay, there's some rules to that, obviously. You know, like you can call me and be like, oh, so-and-so is like down, they need a pickup, you know. Can you check on them to see how they're doing? You know, you don't have to tell them that I told you that they were down, but just can you check on them? Like, that's reasonable, you know. But when you just being messy. Yeah, messy, that's just adding another layer to your toxic trait. Seriously. How um that's just No, it happens.

Speaker 41:22

It is what it is, you know. Toxic people do toxic things that leaves people like that like to be left alone. And they just keep bringing us in the middle of stuff that ain't got nothing to do with us. You know what I'm saying? It's like it's your toxic logic, is the reason. Have you ever thought about the shit that you be doing? You know, it's just ask them one day. It's like, okay, for instance. Have you ever sat down with a friend, family member, worker, whatever the case, not even co-worker, we'll we'll take that one off. But just with somebody that you know, and they always telling you about all the shit that be going on on their job. And the more they get to talking, the more you realize, motherfucker, it's you. You are the pro do you realize that it's you?

Speaker 2 42:01

Like, why are you recruiting me to your problem? Right. It's all about you.

Speaker 42:07

Anybody ever told you you was toxic or that the way you think ain't right, that maybe you shouldn't have did what you did or said what you said. That's right. You can say what you want to say, and I'm supposed to just sit here and listen to it. That's right. I'm not supposed to say nothing bad. I can't take the same tone with you that you just took with me. That happened. So that actually happened on set. So I'm finna tell you about this one here on story time. No shit, there I was. So remember, we were setting up everything, we on the movie set and everything, we getting ready to go. The director. E director. E. When you have somebody who is 1,000% operating in their ego, has toxic logic. Anyway, long story

— Two Sides to Every Story: Dissecting Perception vs. Ego

Speaker 42:50

short, this person was trying to get something out of me that from a deal that I could pull together, right? Because I know people in the right places. And so I put the deal together. Everything is perfect, and then you started behind the backs, you don't sent off an email to the individual, you don't left me off of all the traffic, you asking for everything that I already told you you can have. Deal falls apart. Weeks later, you want to know if I go on over there and talk to him and find out if I can smooth the stuff over. So I go to tell you what's going on, and then all of a sudden, you get in your emotions. You mad because I'm telling you what happened and why it fell apart. So then you go to yelling, raising your voice, as if I'm not a grown ass man. The first thing that they said was, You supposed to be working for me. We're finna put the brakes on this shit real quick. Motherfucker, I'm gonna work for you. You got me all the way fucked up. That was the first mistake. And then after that, you yelling, and then he's like, Brother, why are you yelling? Motherfucker, cause you are yelling. And it's just it just explains Hey, I couldn't help it from there. The floodgates open and it was just over with from there. So, needless to say, I walked up out of that set like, bruh, you'll never see me on this set again, and don't worry about that deal that we was putting together. Gonna happen. You know? So needless to say, that part was dead, but half of it is dead because the other person that I was actually working with, initially the the deal was supposed to be for somebody else. And then they brought in this other person who actually had some motion. And that mo that person who had the motion wanted to take the whole deal and cut everybody out. That's what it boiled down to. And it was just like, bro, we can't do this. We're not doing this. You know, and it's like it's that ego, toxic logic, and then it's also that whole I'm better than you thing. And a lot of time people just feel that way, even though it's not true and it couldn't be farther from the truth.

Speaker 2 44:34

Yeah. And it sounds like too, this is where I hate ego too. It's like instead of messing, instead of just saying, like, I messed up and or that's not what I wanted to do, and just having a conversation and saying, Oh, maybe we can do this or try to work together to do this. You wanna start going behind your back because I'm like, I'm gonna let ego take over. This is my thing. I'm taking ownership of this, and this is how I'm gonna do it, and I'm gonna do it the sneaky way. It is like, how you why don't you just like admit that this is not how it's supposed to go? Sit down, be a man or a woman, figure it out. You got somebody who's offering you something willing to work with you, and then you don't wanna do it because it's messing up your ego, and everything's supposed to go my way. It's my way. But it's supposed to go my way.

Speaker 45:29

Basically, that's that's basically what was happening, though. And this is a grown-ass man. I'm sitting here looking at you like, bro, are you fucking serious right now? I'm not gonna call no names, I'm not gonna put nobody out, no company names, anything of that nature. Don't want a lawsuit. But you're supposed to be working for me. Got me. No, sir. No, sir. Don't do that. I'm not punching no clocks.

Speaker 2 45:52

It's crazy. It's like when you can't control your emotions or your ego, you just like lose it and you start acting so childish about things that you don't have to be childish about. That's a toxic trait. Ugh. I can't stand a person that just cannot take accountability for the things that they are doing and saying, even when they know that they're wrong. It's like, okay, you messed up. You think everybody perfect? You think we all just perfect and we we don't mess

— Fact-Checking the Mess: Walk Me Back Through the Conversation

Speaker 2 46:20

up on nothing.

Speaker 46:20

Daily.

Speaker 2 46:22

I mean, there's always something, you know, that you could be doing that's incorrect or done incorrectly or not in order or whatever the case may be. Like, it's so crazy too. Cause like that ego also makes me think of karma. You know, because it's like when I hear someone let ego step in the way, it's like, you know, real too. You over here acting crazy, being manipulative, you know, being obsessed about something you shouldn't be, being aggressive about things that you shouldn't be, lying about things that you shouldn't be. All this is gonna come back to you tenfold. And I always tell people, look, I am annoyed to don't mess with guys' property, because I promise you you're gonna get it tenfold. Please believe I have seen it. I have seen it.

Speaker 47:13

If you didn't know what you had when it was there, you'll recognize it when it's gone.

Speaker 2 47:16

Say less. No, for sure. That for sure. People always seem to recognize things when they're gone though.

Speaker 47:22

Well, it's dry now. Yeah, I'm I'm accustomed to toxic logic. I'm accustomed to be able to run to this well as many times as I want to because this well has always been plentiful. It's been abundant. It's going to make sure that I have. It's gonna quench my thirst. No. Well is dry, cobwells. It's gone, it's over with. Now you gotta realize that you really are a bench-up person. But even though you know this, toxic logic kicks in again. I now have to turn you into the villain. It's not my fault that you left me because I was doing stupid shit. Oh, you weren't patient enough. You didn't give me enough time. I mean, anything that you can think of to, dare I say it, gaslight you into believing that you're going to change, that I'm going to change, I should say. I'm not. I'm comfortable with where I am, and I like the shit that I do. I just don't like the fact that you picked up on it and walked away from me. Say that shit. Because that's the truth. And if you said that to me, I would be much, you know what, I can mess with you. You know what I'm saying? I can deal with you because now I know where you stand. And we can deal with each other on this level. But if you sit up here and you just sitting up here trying to tell me, saying I got an alarm too. So if you sitting up here and you're trying to tell me that, convince me, rather, that I did something. Well, I haven't done anything wrong, I'm gonna say you right. And I'm gonna walk away. Whatever you say. What if that's what you gotta say to make yourself sleep better at night, you right. I don't care. Because at the end of the day, again, not chasing anyone's validation. Don't care what you think. And I don't buy into your toxic logic because I can think for myself. I think, therefore I am.

Speaker 2 49:00

Yep. And when that well runs dry, don't come looking at me because I ain't got no water to fill you up.

Speaker 49:07

Not a bottle of water, not a thimble of water. You can take your ass out there today.

Speaker 2 49:11

You can't have enough drought over here.

Speaker 49:14

Quench your thirst.

Speaker 2 49:17

Drought to take your toxic behind somewhere else.

Speaker 49:20

I hear there's plenty of water in the lake minatunka. You can go purify yourself.

Speaker 2 49:25

Gonna go drink that Michigan water.

Speaker 49:28

Damn. Not that water, not the Flint water. Get ahead roll for that shit. Shout out to the good people of Flint, Michigan. Your water supply is actually doing better now.

Speaker 2 49:39

That I know of.

Speaker 49:40

We'll leave that one alone. So, ladies and gentlemen, this has been another episode of All In One. Hope you guys enjoyed the episode. Make sure to hit the like, comment, you know what I'm saying, subscribe. All those. You know what I'm saying? Ticker me on all those things down there. You feel me? I'm gonna make sure I cut that shit out.

Speaker 2 49:58

We had a lot of hits too, so we might be coming up with some more merch on some of these quotes that we threw out today. Big facts.

Speaker 50:05

The store is up, it's operational. Uh websites is coming up soon,

— Storytime: Dealing with Hidden Agendas and Ego on Set

Speaker 50:10

you know what I'm saying? Uh bringing up the Google Sites and uh probably another actual domain. So again, thank you all. We really appreciate you guys for the love and support, especially those of you guys have been tuning in with us over the past couple of weeks here. Love you guys. You know what I'm saying? Just make sure to tune in. As always, we're all in. That's usually gonna say it.

Speaker 2 50:30

Woo! I'm in. We're all in.

Speaker 50:33

Catch you on the next one. Hello.